A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Four of my boyfriend's friends (both females and males) have cheated on their partner. Does that mean he is more likely to cheat? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 October 2014):
I agree with SVC's analogy about cocaine.
The important thing here, is HOW he think/feel about cheating, personally. If he thinks it's no big deal, then yes, obviously, he is more likely to cheat. If he doesn't condone his friend's actions, but doesn't want to judge them for doing it, then maybe he won't.
Friends are not carbon copies of yourself (or in this case OF your BF) they are individuals and have their own set of rules, boundaries, values and morals. I have a good friend who ONLY dated married ladies (and before that only dated girls who had a BF). Because with them he ALWAYS had a quick exit if they suddenly wanted more... as in "we can't be together as you are married..." While I didn't agree with his attitude and actions when it came to dating - I stayed OUT of his dating life. And you know, it came back to bite him in the rear. He FELL in love with a married lady who didn't want to cheat with him. When she YEARS later got divorced he gave up chasing married ladies and pursued, wooed and married her. They have been married 11 years. And he has been faithful.
A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (29 October 2014):
As a lad, I won't agree that he would cheat.
It depends how much peer pressure is forced by his friends and coax him, it's all right to cheat vs how much he loves you and how strongly he feels about cheating/morals.
I hang out with friends who do drugs and I'm with them when they do but I always was my choice not to do it even when they offered.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 October 2014):
Has he ever cheated? Does he think their behavior is acceptable?
If he finds cheating behavior acceptable then it's possible he would cheat too.
If he has no problem with his friends cheating but he has never cheated at this point all he is guilty of is accepting poor behavior in his friends.
I have friends that do cocaine. I will never do cocaine. I accept that my friends do it, I won't be around them when they do it, I won't discuss it with them, I won't assist them with it... it's their choice... what THEY do in their life is not what I do in mine.... same with cheaters.
I have been married to a liar and a cheater... I have never done either and I never would.
HOW HE FEELS about his friends behavior is more important than what his friends do when he's not around.
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