A
female
age
,
*arelly
writes:Is my boyfriend gay and in denial ?I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. In the early days, he was somewhat distant.. I thought it was his personality. He was also sexual but not passionate with me. I felt it was because he had been alone for 10 years and not at ease with sex. We had sex on a regular basis but after a while, he always said he was tired. I suspected him watching too much porn, so I checked what I could find on his bank statement (a web site of sexual encounters). He promised he only looked at the pictures.. Anyways, I suspected he was back into porn.. To my great surprise, I saw his messenger and his comments on some sites he visited - invitations to his business trips to young men.. his messenger contacts are all young men with suggestive nicks. Ok..so if I wonder if he likes men, I am in denial.. but that is not the case. I am wondering if he is gay. He says all that is a game he is playing ! He has no interest in men, although I found his "lower body parts" picture on one site, personal adds on another, along with comments about men. I thought that a bisexual man can have a good relationship with a woman, but a gay man ? My doubts have been difficult to deal with for me and himself. We don't have passionate sex, not much kissing and does'nt do oral sex (it has been a year) and before that, it was rarely. He is affectionate, cuddly but not very sexual with me. We have sex now about once or twice a week (it got so bad it was an issue, so he "worked on it" and it improved), he is always turned on but doesnt seem to enjoy that much. I love going down on him but he has been refusing (I have a feeling it's because he would feel he would have to go down on me). I am wondering if the distance is about my doubts and his bisexuality, or just the fact that he is gay. You probably don't have the answer, but your suggestions and help would help me understand a little more.Thanks, Marelly
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male
reader, evas  +, writes (22 June 2008):
OK, what ,other than he's dating you, says that he's NOT gay.My first impression of this is that your a sort of "cover relationship" for him. I don't know what it is about this, but I get the feeling that the relationship you have is still distant. Kinda like the feeling you have being inside a warm house in winter yet you still know the cold is out there. Check your heart, usually we know these things but turn a blind eye because we want the relationship to be what we dreamed of instead of what is actually there. Don't know if that answers your question but God bless you.
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