| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm upset. My bf had broken up with me and on Thursday beged me to come back. that day he treated me like a queen. He said we'd most likely see each other on friday and today. He had broken up with me because he has issues with my past. And because I lied about it. And because of that I sometimes got angry at him and he didn't like how I reacted. But I promised I'd change and I'm changing. I'm controling my temper when we argue.Well, yesterday night (Friday) he said we wouldn't be able to hang out, because one of his friends had invited him and another guy over to his house, to have some beers and play PlayStation. I was ok, and told him to have fun. He promised that today, we'd see each other.Well, today he told me that he was going to meet up with the guys again. I was angry because he promised we'd see each other today. He told me he hates it when I nag, that at least the guys don't nag. I told him that he had promised to me yesterday that we'd see each other, that tha was before the guys told him to hang out today. That he had made a commitment to me first. He said "So?". I was angrier. He said "Fine, let's hang out, just so you don't get upest and quit nagging!" I told him not to come, because he made it seem like a chore. And he said "What, I don't want you to be angry later!". It's not like today I made anything to be angry at me before we had this argument. And he told me why he didn't want to hang out... he said it was because he fears that everytime we hang out, we argue. I told him to never see each other again then, isn't that the solution? He said "In that case, it'd be better to break up, but I don't think that's the solution". So why stay with me? Sometimes I feel like cheating on him, just because he treats me like this... it's the first time he stoods me up for the guys, but trust me, it's not the first time he's mean to me. Sometimes I'd like to cheat on him just to make him see that I can get the attention of other guys who'd treat me better. But I won't cheat, because I love him, and I'd probably feel good at the moment, but worse afterwards. Plus it'd prove him right for all the times he has accused me of wanting to cheat (because based on my past he's said I'm easy and not to trust). And I want to prove him wrong for that too. That's why I stay home, to avoid trouble.ARGH!!!!! Why can't I do anything right for him? He doesn't love me, I'm sure... otherwise he'd realize that I DO LOVE HIM, and that he's being unfair and hurting me. It's not like I'm being clingy, I give him his space, but he broke a promise! I don't wanna dump him, but how can I make him realize he should apologize and quit being so immature and stupid?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): What I suggest is that you should tell all of this that you told us to him. Try to get and meet him somewhere private, and express your feelings. I assume you as the more mature person, so try to keep the conversation as mature as possible. In the conversation express everything you feel about what he says or does and also tell him what you're willing to do for him; how you feel about him. After this, either give him some space to think and if he decides to change, give him a probation time. If he, at the end, does not make you happy, brake up with him. I know it sounds easier than done, but it's the best way to do. He sounds like an immature person, and he has to mature already.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): I think you need to either settle it with him or break up with him. Or maybe break up with him for a while to force the issue and that might settle it.
You cheating on him would be just as immature and stupid as what he's doing.
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