A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and have been dating for amost a month, we talked for 4 months before dating. My boyfriend and I are both sixteen... I would say my boyfriend and I are a lot more mature than most our age, being that we have both been through a lot. So now to the reason why im asking this question, my boyfriend and I started having sex last week.. he was really eager to start and kind of pushy.. I was against it at first but he promised everything would be okay (I know stupid) so I went with it. Before we had sex he was always really sarcastic, and sometimes it came off mean but I just figured it was a typical male thing. Tonight I was going to meet him close to his house (which is a 45 min drive for me) but instead he wanted me to follow him to his house, I was a little confused about the directions because im not from around there.. he got really frustrated with me and told me I was "fucking difficult".. well I finally found the street and followed him home. He was having a party tonight so we hung out with his friends for a while and then went upstairs. We got upstairs and started messing around.. when we started having sex he got mad because it was uncomfortable (we didn't have a bed) and told me "I didn't know how to do it"... he is the second guy I've ever had sex with, so im not that experienced. some of his friends showed up and I had to make it home by 11 so we stopped and got dressed. On my way to my truck I asked him how to get home and he said "are you fucking stupid?" I was trying not to cry and I just put in my gps. I dont know if all guys just get a little upset sometimes.. or if he is just mean. So please help me out. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo all the wonderful people who helped me.. I dumped him last month. And my life has been great. (: ...he's been calling and texting me trying to get me back. You know that saying "you never know what you have until you've lost it"?.. looks like he's figuring that out. The hard way. (:
A
female
reader, marcia99116 +, writes (19 December 2010):
 It doesn't even matter if she is lying. He called you stupid and difficult. He cannot think very highly of you if he is calling you these things to your face. Run away. These are signs... do they have to be neon and flashing. Do not be so desperate as to cling to a guy who is like this. I actually believe the girl that told you she had sex with him.
As someone who has witnessed this relationship over and over watching her mother go through it. Run away... you are worth so much more than this disrespectful treatment.
I would be outraged if anyone dared call me stupid and would have egged his house :) So I could feel better... jerk!
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A
female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (19 December 2010):
I don't think anyone would stoop low enough to lie about having sex with him, atleast she had the decency to tell you, it's obvious your relationship is over, he just had sex with another girl. Just think about it...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Here's my advice, cease and desist from any further action with this guy. If you continue to do so then you are and/or will become that with which you hang with...which in this case will be another member of trailer trash. Let the trash of the world deal will itself. Take the high road and share sexual intimacy with people who value it. That means not being pressured into sex and only being intimate once you have done be time to at least know something about the person, their values, etc. Don't be a slave to sexual desire. Furthermore, consider your health and the risk of STDs because for all you know you may have already exposed yourself. As far as this guy, he sounds like a waste of space. Continue interactions with him if you want to join the same club. We live in a time where you can choose what to do with your life, so don't waste it dealing with the dregs of the earth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much for the help.. but theres something new. This morning I woke up with a facebook message, it was from a girl that went to his party after we left. It said "if I was his girlfriend I would want to know this, we had sex last night at his party"... im so lost and confused right now.. I know how manipulating girls can be, and I know shes liked my boyfriend for a long time. I called my boyfriend and tried to talk to him about it but he just kept saying how she was crazy and she was jealous of me.. he listed the names of all the people that were at the party and told me I could ask them... I dunno what it is, but I cant let him go. Give me some more advice please, I need it. Thank you so much.
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A
female
reader, sunandstars +, writes (19 December 2010):
I don't think is particularly normal behaviour no, but I wouldn't call it abuse- yet. If you're feeling
uncomfortable in your relationship and he is saying horrible things and forcing to you to have sex you should tell him how you feel, although I understand this may be difficult, so perhaps you should end your relationship. Personally, I think you should break up with him before it does become very abusive and you get trapped, as abusive relationships often cause this feeling, however, it is completely up to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): He doesn't sound a very nice person to me. You have only been together a short time, if he cannot treat you with respect, finish it. Why carry on, my guess is things will not improve. Do yourself a favour, nobody should speak to you like that, least of all a boyfriend. Dump him sooner rather than later.
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (19 December 2010):
He sounds really mean.
Dump him now and go looking to boys who will appreciate you, and not just for the sex. [ Tho they will all want that of course.]
They do exist.
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A
male
reader, Sex_counsellor +, writes (19 December 2010):
 Firstly things are going to be very uncomfortable sexually if you don't feel ready.
Also you say that he is sarcastic etc. before you have sex - this is a sign that he is insecure with his own ability and by making jokes etc. at your expense he will find himself in more control.
I think that you really need to have a sit down chat with your boyfriend and tell him how much his comments are hurting you but explain your feelings for him. Most guys can get stressed at times but I am against guys who swear and are abusive to their girl friends.
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