A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating this guy for 2 years and we have a son together but we broke up about 3 months ago. Since then he hasnt dated anyone else and says he loves me and still wants to be with me. However, im with someone else who knows about the situation and knows i still have feelings for him and that i love him still. My current boyfriend tells me that my ex is obssessed and that i need to remove him from my life. He also says its because hes 31 and im 21. My ex was at a banquet dinner last night the same time i was and came up and told me he doesnt want to date anyone else just me and thats what he will wait for. I know i still love him because i think about him a lot and when i drop our son off to him all the memories come back. I guess what im bascially asking what should i do about the feelings i have for him? And is it possible that he really does feel that way about me and wont be with anyone else?? Or is my current boyfriend im with right?
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female
reader, Andulikeittoo +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Is not obsession is love, 3 months is not a lot for someone who is in love to move on. Your current bf is not right,he will do and say anything so that you don't go back to your ex, and stay with him. I don't know the reason why u guys broke up, but is it worth being miserable and taking the opportunity for your son to have a nice little family?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Just to remind you, no, your boyfriend is not right. You're ex is still hung up on you, that's love, not obsession.
Your boyfriend is just jealous and panicking because he starting to realize he's just a rebound and he's trying to prevent that but he can't because that's exactly what he is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): I think you're current boyfriend is wrong, the relationship has only been over 3 months. He's just not over you yet. You're not exactly over him either are you? Are you obsessed? No, you're just still in love with him that's all, that's not obsession and it's not unusual not to date after a long term break up in fact it's the best thing to do.
Your current boyfriend (who sounds like a rebound to me) is just trying to mark his territory and he's being stupid about it too. How are you supposed to cut him out of your life when you have a child toegther.
How long have you been with this "boyfriend"? Because if you only broke up a few months ago then it can't be that long.
I personally think you got into a relationship with this new guy when you weren't ready at all, you shouldn't date someone when you still harbour love for your ex, that's called a rebound and you can now see the problem it is causing because your new guy is getting overbearing and jealous of your ex because you still have feelings for him. I bet he says nothing but bad things about him and tries to put a negative spin on anything got to do with your ex.
Yes it is possible your ex feels the same way and that he won't date anyone else. What you do with your feelings for him is you have a long hard think as to why you broke up in the first place, is that a good reason to stay broken up or is it something that can be fixed.
You need to do this alone too. Regardless of what you think or what your new boyfriend says, you're just stringing him along, he's a rebound and you have to take some time to be alone right now. It's never a good idea to jump straight into a relationship so soon after a break up and not a good idea to jump into one when you still love your ex. I know he says he doesn't mind, or that he accepts it etc but that's only because he's trying to win you over but that's not going to happen because you never allowed yourself time to get over your ex, you substituted him with someone else which is not fair on this new guy and the strain is showing already. He's bitterly jealous of your ex to the point where he even suggested you cut him out of your life even though you share a child.
You have to let the new guy go until you figure this out, you can't figure things out while working on a new relationship and all this time you still have feelings for your ex, you still pine for him and want to be with him. That's not fair at all on the new guy.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 If you still have feelings for your ex than you need to try to fix this relationship or at least try. You cannot start a new relationship because this guy is obviously the rebound guy and you can't play with people's emotions like that. I think you should stop dating and give your self a chance to be alone and clear up your thoughts.
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