A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If my boyfriend sees a woman with platinum blond hair, he just goes into a sort of trance-like state and fixates on her. The woman often is just average-looking, but because her hair is long and platinum blond, he just gets stirred inside. Why is this? The other night when he fixated the platinum blond woman, I interrupted his gaze, and asked him if he was interested in the blond. When he does this staring, I feel like he is on the hunt for his ideal woman, and I don't fit the bill. He got all flustered and denied he was staring. I'm telling you, he was fixated, and it wasn't the first time he prolongedly stared at another woman when I was right next to him. Is he looking for his ideal woman? Or, does he just see the woman as some sort of porn object?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 December 2013):
 I assume the response below this one is the OP
and you totally MISUNDERSTOOD the "Thor is very pretty" reference... "THOR is VERY PRETTY" is said to piss him off.... that's all. It's not whispered under my breath at all.... it's said loudly to him... him.
I'm not in denial of anything. I'm older than he is. I'm not at all what he wants in a fantasy girl... but that's just it.. a FANTASY girl. It's not anyone who he wants to spend his life with.
I actually have no pain from my husband doing the "exorcist neck thing" when he sees a young pretty girl... it cracks me up and I'll say to him 'don't break your neck" and I'll laugh. Men often don't get how comical they are to mature women.
As for why he does it... at 53 I'm older than he is and it drives him nuts that I get hit on pretty much daily and by men YOUNGER than his age of 40.... he's now no longer attractive to 20 something girls and yet his OLDER wife is hit on by men from age 25-80... go figure.
As to men thinking blondes are easy or Asian's are submissive, I think you are over-thinking this totally... MEN are not that complicated... as Jeff Foxworthy said "men are easy... we want a beer and we want to see something naked" it's that simple.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013): Interesting comment "So_Very_Confused"... Perhaps it's an insecurity thing. Some men probably (at least at a subconscious level) view blond women as 'easy' and Asian women as submissive and obliging. From your comments, I get the impression you're just in denial that your husband's preference for Asian women bothers you, since you have to repeat to yourself over and over that Thor is pretty. That's one way to avoid the pain, I guess.By the way, I have no intention of dying my hair platinum blond. I'm just trying to understand his behavior, because it sure seems odd and disrespectful to me. But, I wouldn't say he's doing it on purpose. So, I am wondering why he goes into a trance-like state. Is it some sort of brainwashing? I could be so-very-confused, because I don't get why this womanizing culture is so acceptable now-a-days. But, I might guess that so many have been desensitized by the media, so anything goes.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 November 2013):
He looks at long platinum hair because he likes it. It’s not a porn thing. I get sick and tired of how often women like to blame a man’s bad behavior on porn when it’s not just porn.
He likes long platinum blonde hair. YOU don’t have it and I would NOT suggest that you grow long hair and dye it platinum blonde JUST to please him. He will still look at other women with hair that he likes, LONG platinum blonde is going to be hard on your hair and cost a buck and some change regularly to maintain.
I have naturally curly hair. I am middle aged and NOT of Asian descent. My husband will always look at young Asian women.. They are his preference.. .he likes to LOOK at them but he LOVES me… and I’m fine with that. He is not dating them, He’s not leaving me for them, he’s not cheating on me with them.. he’s looking at a pretty thing. I just smile and I say “THOR is PRETTY… THOR is VERY pretty” and keep going.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2013): He finds long blonde hair attractive. Don't listen to what he says otherwise as he's obviously lying. You know what you saw, so it doesn't matter how much he denies it. Grow your hair long, and dye it blonde. That is the only answer as to how to get him to stop, trust me. My husband has a thing for long hair, too. Long haired women always turned his head. The only difference between him and your boyfriend is the color of the hair didn't matter to my husband. If it was long, he'd look. You can imagine I was feeling pretty bad about myself as my hair was only shoulder length at the time. I got sick of it, and grew my hair out. It took 2 years, and it was 3/4 of the way down my back. It took me changing my diet, taking vitamins, and extra hair products to do it (my hair breaks easily as it's coarse, so I had to buy anti breakage serum), but I feel much better as he no longer looks at women with long hair. I fulfill his fantasy now. You're either going to have to do what I did, or be prepared to deal with him looking at women with long blonde hair. I'm not saying it's right or fair, but it is what it is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2013): Though many here will answer to you that it's perfectly ok to look, buti don't think it's ok. It's ok to give a glance, but not to fixate on a woman/ man when your partner is right there with you. Especially men do it to the point that a woman next to him start feeling very uncomfortable. I broke up with a guy once because of that. He stared at really young girls, like really young, in their teens. I felt very embarrassed with him doing it being in his 40s. He did it all the time we went out, and one evening I just got up and left a restaurant. He was trying to convince me that it's just a habit, he is not going to sleep with them, but for me it was not just a habit, but sort of an addiction. I asked him many times to control it, and if he couldn't control it and acted like a maniac,I am sorry, it was time for me to leave. Even if a guy doesn't belong to me. Like the other day we went out with my husband, and his newly single friend. This friend reminded me about that guy that I was dating. He kept staring at girls half his age with this familiar maniac determination that It was noticed by some, and they started laughing. The whole nite it was impossible to have a conversation with a guy. And when he started to involve me into discussing girls looks, it was time to stop it. I just got up and asked my husband to leave. My opinion that it's ok to give a glance but what you described its not just a glance, it's a stare. I think your boyfriend has a thing for blonds. It's his fantasy like it was a fantasy of that guy I was dating: teenage girls. may be they will never act on it, but this what they would deffinitely prefer may be just for sex.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 November 2013):
 I know this is a very lame answer , but ... maybe he just likes long platonum blonde hair . He finds it attractive.
Which does not mean that he wants to marry- or date or even just shag a platinum blonde, and / or that his requirement for marriage/shaggability is platinum blonde.
At least, I know that various times I walked myself into a pole, distracted by the sight of some Californian -surfer's type long, sun streaked mane. Would I want to actually date a beach boy, do I require a male stripper's mane in a partner ? Err, no, actually I don't. In fact, I suppose I'd be slightly embarassed to bring him along in the circles where I usually move ; nor I have anything in common, I guess, with a beach comber or a male stripper or a hard rock band member or, in general, the type of guy who is likely to sport an Axel Rose hairstyle.
But... to look at, they are very nice :).
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