A
male
age
36-40,
*evil Crazy
writes:Hey all,I am pretty confused lately. I won't say I am very experienced in the relationship field, just 2 in the past . I do admit I had my silly moments and made mistakes that aren't supposed to be made as stated by the 'experts' such as David DeAngelo. Things like...Being too sticky to a girl?Not being mysterious enough?Sinking back into the 'nice guy' mould after securing the relationship?Sometimes I really wonder if love is just a matter of games. I certainly don't want to think this way, 'cos to me love is a sacred thing and one of the treasures of being a human. But, from numerous sources I see, I only notice things like, "You should act this way should this happen", "Try this and you'll get any woman you dream of". I feel that, somehow, love is severely cheapened nowadays to become equivalent to an economic match, thrown in with some lust.I feel deeply saddened by this, honestly. For those who had more experience in relationship matters, is love really as what the 'experts' portray?All replies are welcomed. Thanks in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Well it sounds like according to David DeAngelo (the exerpts you listed), it sure sounds like a game. Personally, I'd prefer to be single, a hermit, then to have someone this close, under my roof, playing childish games.
Sometimes the way girls act giggly, it makes one wonder if what they are doing is a game. Women seem to react/feel then express themselves by verbal communication, whereas men are more into verbal communication then reacting/feeling.
It is up to you to learn more about the girl, learn the right questions, and if not to personal and she won't answer, then call it a game, even though it really may not be, just the way women were created I guess.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (24 April 2008):
Lots of Experts will give you advice or email you reports - for just £5.99.
Everyone wants to know the "secrets" of finding love so of course people are going to try and make money off it.
All you need to know is this:
1. Everyone is different, every relationship is different
2. Be yourself completely or a girl won't fall for you, just the person she thinks you are.
3. The best way to find love is just to go out and make as many friends as possible, meet as many people as you can and go on friendly dates to see how you get on.
4. If it is meant to be then it will be, chill out and enjoy your adventures through life and love.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Oh this is such a dodgy one darling. Its something I constantly ask myself. Why can't you just find someone, fall in love and be happily ever after? Sorry kid, it ain't like that. It seems if you're toonice people think you're a pushover, sad to say, but yet be too distant and they want to know either. I read a very good book called 'The Rules' and when I read it it documented everything I had done in my relationship when it started - without even knowing it. It tells you to treat the one you want like the one you don't, to act disinterested even when you're gagging to get to know them, and to always be busy busy busy, even if you're not really, so it keeps them interested and guessing. Well I never wanted my relationship when it started so I was disinterested - sent him mad, I did treat him like the one I never wanted, cus I didn't and that send him wild too. And as for being busy,, I always am. AND THEN he liked me so much he married me ........... and then it all changed. He'd got me, the interest went straight away. The nice little text messages stopped, the flirting, everything - not from my side, I'd still do it all, but he wasn't interested. So what do you do then? You have to start all over again being not so available, don't be around when he calls, get out with the girls, etc etc. Is it game playing or is it just getting on with your own life and REALLY getting on with your own life? I've decided its the latter. I think when we married I became the wife I thought he wanted, when what he really wanted was the woman I was when we married. So I've had to change - again. Its not easy to do or to figure out. So many of us think when we're in a relationship that we have to be there for each other, do everything together, be the perfect wife. To hell with that now. I'm focusing on me, making my life good - and you know what - he's gagging for me again. Game playing or taking care of yourself? You tell me.
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