A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:aw my life is crap at the moment.6 years ago i had just bought a house with my first ex-we were on the verge of marrying etc, but in the back of my mind i knew something was not right-he didnt seem all that caring about me and i would normally have to prompt him into showing me some feelings-anyway we split-the house i left with him-i just wanted out.i was also friends with another guy i worked with-we got on really well but were just friends-anyway a while after we started dating and went out for the last 5 yearsfor the past 4 years though he has acted very cold towards me-has borrowed a whole load of money from me and given me financial headaches. i just feel like a fool.im still supporting him financially but feel so empty and hollow like my life is over.recently i met a girl that worked with me back then and still knew my first ex who had gotten married and had heard about my situation and thought it was really funny what my recent ex had done to me because i had left him.nothing like being kicked when youre on the floor
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou so much for your help
although it wont mend my situation just knowing thers a kind ear to listen means so much thanks again
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (27 June 2009):
 What can I say...a lot of men are a$$holes and thats the truth. With regard to your first ex, you did what you felt was right at the time and you ended it fair and square. He was uncaring towards you and that fact cannot be changed, despite how he think he can mock you now. If he were a decent person from the start, he wouldn't do that. You have now had to suffer another dissapointing break up after investing another 5 years of your life and again its totally gutting and I sympathise with you.
I have been in similar situations for most of my life, a failed marriage and lately a break up after 2 years, both men let me down badly and I find myself on my own again. I think you just have to be grateful for small mercies. My advice would be to stop providing financial assistance for the second ex, just cut him off, he's a grown man and should provide for himself. Secure yourself financially and just do what makes things easier for you. It is possible to be happy on your own, even just for a while.
A new partner or just someone who can be a good friend to you will come along eventually and maybe give you some hope of a romantic future, so do not imagine life is over for you. There are other ways to have a fulfilled life and there are bound to be ups and downs ahead but protect your own interests...that way you wont have to rely on anyone else.
Keep your chin up!!!
Aunty Em xxx
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