A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure about this. I was wondering if it was wrong to use my friend to get information from the boy I like. She knows I like him, and that i have a hard time talking to him. So i ask her to ask him the questions I want to know and she does it no problem. My question is; Is it right to use her like that? Is it better for me to ask him myself? I mean I think he knows I like him, so he might figure out that I'm telling her to ask them to him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, crystal0705  +, writes (10 July 2008):
Well, the act itself of making your friend ask things to the boy you like, it's not wrong but you should only use this resource a couple of times until you get any confidence to actually talk to the boy yourself.
By now you should start approaching the guy yourself and not letting anyone else do the job for you. It is you the one who wants to conquer the fella's heart, not your friend. If you make your friend go on with this, the boy will think that it is your friend the one interested on him, instead of you and you don't want the guy to center his attention anywhere else, RIGHT?
So what if he thinks you like him? I mean, is not true?Maybe the guy will even appreciate the fact that you had the guts to come up, act mature and start something. Don't be afraid to follow your heart, if you remember this anything cant go wrong :)
Good luck!!!
A
male
reader, link2067 +, writes (10 July 2008):
 Short and simple answer is ....No its not wrong, as long as your friend knows your true motive. Its ok to be shy at first, although if you like him im pretty sure at some point you may have to talk to him for yourself.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 The boy that you like may be under the impression that you friend is the one that likes him! He may also grow to like her, because she is the one spending time and appearing interested in him! Those are the only drawbacks that I can think of in your approach. You would probably be surprized to find out that subtle things are totally lost on guys, so I wouldn't count on him figuring out that you are the one that likes him. They usually only go for the obvious, so don't be surprized if he asks out your friend instead of you.
Time to rethink how shy you are! Get up your nerve and go and ask him those questions yourself, Hunnie! You are braver than you know. Everyone is nervous! Don't be afraid! The only thing that you should be afraid of is never having taken the chance to talk with him yourself! You can do this!
XXX
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A
male
reader, OhLawdWhat DoIDo  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 There is nothing wrong with that at all. Im a good few years older than you and I still do it. Gathering as much knowledge as you can beforehand can give you a much better picture of the person you are chasing and you can make decisions based on the results you find. I guess I am fairly shy like yourself so getting information thought friends if needed, is always good.
Do keep in mind however that asking these questions yourself would get the two of you closer. You would have to interact with one another and thus inevitably become better closer friends which puts you closer to being his girlfriend if you so desire. It also helps to build social skills and gives him a better picture of what you are like too so you can both get a clearer picture of what the other is like rather than just you knowing what hes like and then later having to build upon that.
In a nutshell, keep getting your friend to get information if you cant get the guts to ask him yourself just yet. Do however keep trying to talk to him and find out what hes like by yourself, its character building.
Best of luck! :)
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