A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was recently rejected by my best friend. I'm doing the best I can to get over it (mostly by trying to get with as many women as I can so I don't look totally pathetic to her), but it's hard to care about anyone else because I'm still in love with her. I'm not trying to lead any other girls on, I'm just trying to get over my Susan Glenn. Is this still wrong?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 August 2012):
 You do realize that by sleeping with as many women as possible it makes you look pathetic to her right?
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 August 2012):
 I'll agree with "blonde30s" that sleeping around is not the answer, but getting out there again, with new women who could become longterm - well that's what you should do. You may yet hear again from that previous lover, but I learned a few things in life. One is - if they ever cheat or leave you stranded, it's never going to work out.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (21 August 2012):
 I think you can do what you want as long as the other women know it is just sex.
I also think it is a big misconception that sleeping with as many women as you can after a break-up makes you look less pathetic.
It actually makes you look more pathetic because we know you are just doing it to in some way get back at us. Plus, your actions may come back to haunt you when you realize all the sex was just a temporary high to help you get over the pain. The pain will resurface at some point.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 August 2012):
It's what you have to do if rejected. Loves will possibly come-and-go in life. You probably need to learn how to let go. Don't sit around stewing, or feeling sorry for yourself - put it behind you and move on.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (21 August 2012):
It’s not wrong, if you’re not being dishonest to these women about your intentions: if it’s just sex, and they understand that, you’ve not misled anyone. However, your thinking is wrong: sleeping around isn’t going to impress this friend that rejected you, nor is it going to make you look better to other girls. Do you really think that the more women you sleep with, the less “pathetic” you look? Actually, you come across as immature and you look like some-one who isn’t dating material. Maybe there is no-one special in your life right now apart from this friend, but keep an open mind to the likely possibility that there will be in the future. If you’re too busy chasing meaningless sex in a misguided attempt to impress and substitute sex for dealing with your feelings, you’ll miss her. If your friend doesn’t feel the same for you as you do for her, you can’t change that. What you can do is think very hard about what qualities make this person attractive to you and use this as your basis to meet some-one special in the future. The only way to come to terms with rejection is to give it time. Clearly sleeping around isn’t helping you now, and it won’t help you in the future. As long as you carry on letting your anger and frustration dictate your behaviour, you’ll be stuck and left unable to deal with the rejection. My suggestion therefore is that you should stop.
I wish you all the very best.
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