A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a man and I do not consider myself bi or gay but I do like an occassional get together with another man from time to time I like to give him oral nothing in return I prefer to give oral to a straight married man My question is is it wrong to say I am straight
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (16 December 2020):
 I would say that you're bisexual. You clearly enjoy sexual experiences with men (regardless of whether or not you go all the way). I think that you need to consider why it makes YOU so uncomfortable to admit it, especially to yourself. I think that you have to own it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2020): We all think you are bi. However, what really matters is what you tell women with whom you start serious relationships. Some women will be seriously pissed and dump you if they find out you led them to think you're straight but you like to give BJ's to men once in a while. Some women will be fine with it, especially if you tell them early. A little honesty at the beginning of a relationship will probably save a lot of heartache on both sides later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2020): I think you are bisexual.
You find men sexually attractive enough to give them oral sex. However you maybe don’t have an emotional attraction to men. This might be why you go for married men. You know there’s less chance of it developing into something more than oral sex as they are married. You feel safer that way.
However, you may find women both sexually and emotionally attractive. Meaning you would want an actual relationship with a woman but with men it’s just sexual.
It’s not wrong to say you are straight, it’s not wrong to say you are bi or gay or even a tree if you like. It’s no one else’s business but your own. You don’t even have to label it at all if you don’t want to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2020): Jeesus wept. You claim you are straight when it is clear you are bisexual. And say you love to give oral sometimes to a straight married man. Perhaps you need to buy a new dictionary. A straight married man would not be wanting to or allowing you to give him oral sex. He is bisexual, not straight, same as you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2020): I want to clarify something. You can't control the thoughts that go through your mind, or the substance of dreams. I've actually had straight-friends ask if curiosity makes you gay? If you've been angry at someone, and told them you could kill them; the thought crossed your mind, but that doesn't make you a murderer. If you entertain that thought, and dwell on it over a period of time; maybe you should be concerned. That's premeditation!
If you're straight, and ever wondered "what it's like" as a fleeting-thought; no worries, let it pass! It's only a problem when it sticks around; and you contemplate on it again and again. If it becomes a recurrent fantasy, you may have gay-tendencies; but they're only thoughts as long as you never act on it.
As the anonymous reader has succinctly put it:
"You are bi. Stop kidding yourself."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2020): You are bi. Stop kidding yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2020): Married-men (who are not attracted to men) have only had sex with the woman he married is obviously straight. Holding-out and being abstinent until marriage is the exception to the rule. You know in your head that your sexual-orientation is heterosexual, even if you've never had sex at all. Celibacy only means you've abstained from sex, it is not defined as your sexual-orientation. The key point of determination here is having sex with men, if you are a male.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (8 December 2020):
 I think I'm more confused than I was to start with. I think I'm straight monogamous until further notice.
In fact the orientation issue is more about attraction than experience. I'm not attracted to the male form, but, because of a lack of attraction I'm not experienced. A person could lack experience, but have lots of attraction. I'm attracted to many women, but experienced with one. Fidelity or personal boundaries have kept me monogamous.
Our OP is attracted to men, but rarely indulges that attraction. If he never indulged that attraction by having sex with men he would still be oriented towards men.
Am I wrong?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2020): Straight-men do not have any form of sex with other men. "Straight" is synonymous with heterosexual. There is no gray area when you voluntarily declare your sexual-orientation to a heterosexual man or a woman.
You can choose to go by any label you wish; but if you are honest, you are bisexual. If you have never had sex with females, and only men; you are gay, until you are certain you are sexually-attracted to women. If you've had sex with only one female ever; but you can't decide if you will ever do it again. The jury is still out. You may as well say you're bi until further notice.
If you decide to have a serious monogamous long-term relationship with a woman; please inform her that you are bisexual. If a married-man accepts oral-sex from another man, he is no longer a "straight" married-man. He is a bisexual married-man by virtue of the fact that he likes oral sex with another man. If he was curious and tried it only once in his life-time, or was seduced under the influence of a drug or alcohol; he's straight but he experimented out of curiosity. Nonconsensual sex is rape, if he was not sober; or if his judgment was compromised in any way.
If you ever venture to try and have a romantic-relationship with a man; it won't matter what label you choose. He may himself decide to tag you with the labels bisexual and/or gay/homosexual...or any slang term or expletive of his choosing. It won't matter whether your closet door is open or shut!
There's really no dancing around the truth.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (7 December 2020):
 I think because you like both the company and pleasure of men and women that the majority of people would consider you to be bi. You can label yourself if you need to as anything that you want but for all intents and purposes I'd say you are bisexual.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 December 2020):
 Is it wrong to say to whom? To the man you are entertaining with oral sex? I doubt any man who has received oral sex from you is going to believe you. To the woman who wonders if you are straight? When she finds out you like to give oral sex to men, she is not going to believe you. To people in general? Well, that is up to you what you choose to tell people and what they choose to believe. You can even choose to tell them nothing. Your sexual orientation is entirely your private matter - until it comes to misleading people. I would advise, if the subject crops up with a partner, male OR female, instead of trying to find a label that fits, just explain the situation as it is and let them draw their own conclusions.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (7 December 2020):
 I think if you were in a relationship withy a woman declaring your straight, then she finds out you have performed oral sex on a man she is not going to think that you are straight.
As Honeypie say's there is no law or authority to tell you what you can and can't label yourself as.
But if your performing oral sex on a man, but still like women surely that makes you bi.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (7 December 2020):
If for example you were to tell a woman who is considering a romantic relationship with you that you are straight, And then later on you tell her that you like to have oral sex with men, she is not going to believe you were honest.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2020):
 If a "straight man" likes to receive oral from ANOTHER man, he is not entirely straight either. Just saying.
You want to call yourself straight, then DO so! there is no law or authority that can TELL you what you can "label" yourself as!
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