A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have friends, but not at all close friends who divorced. I saw her now and then where she works and she's always been very friendly. We grew up together in the same small town, but never hung out or were ever really friends, we ran in different circles. Last week she asked me for a date, she has an event and wants me to escourt her. Being I'm single and unattached I said sure. My buddy said I should stay away from her, he sometimes drinks with her x husband. He said her x is still hoping to reconcile even after they divorced. I know she has no intention of ever going back to the guy who couldn't hold a job or keep a driver's license, she was tired of living a poor life with a drunk. I'm not wealthy, but I am secure,I'm not a heavy drinker, I have a good job and have my life together. I've met this woman for drinks a few times, we're just trying to get to know each other better, we're going slow. I know she has an interest in me, and I like her too. We never slept together and the furthest it went was a few kisses good night. So my friend is unhappy about me seeing her,I'm wondering if he's jelous and wanted her, then there's the fact that her and I find serious attraction together. I don't want to back off as my friend said I should. I feel serious attraction for this woman. I'm not going to back down because of what my friend said, I don't really know how it's going to effect her x, hoping he's not an ax murderer(they have no kids) and how my friend is going to react if this prospers into a serious relationship. At this point I don't think it's his business and I really don't care what his opinion is about her and I together. I am wrong to persue her? Am I in the wrong here? Could my friend be jealous? I'm wondering if he really is a friend, I'd much rather have her in my life than him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): There's nothing wrong with dating her and developing a serious relationship with her. Your friend should mind his own business as this relationship does not involve him. The ex husband had his chance and he blew it. You do not owe it to him to stay away from her, he has no claim of ownership over her or anything as they are divorced. If he wants to reconcile he can compete on equal ground with you, he isn't entitled to special treatment after the way he treated her. Your friend may feel uncomfortable drinking with her ex but that is not your problem and he sounds like not a good friend if he is so selfish he wants you not to pursue happiness just so he can avoid some awkwardness occasionally. If anything it is the ex husband's fault for wrecking his own marriage so he is the cause of his own misery not you!Tell your friend to mind his own business! This lady wants to be with you and you want to be with her and you're both single and unattached so there's nothing wrong.
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (19 August 2013):
If you are enjoy each others company and your both single, go and have a great time.
She asked you out. She is interested in you and not your buddy. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't jealous but I wouldn't engage in a conversation about you and her with him. It is none of his business. Besides he will pass info on back to her ex.
Have Fun!
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (19 August 2013):
 I see no reason for you not to date your friend. Your buddy may feel he needs to be loyal to her ex, but that's HIS friend, not yours. You don't owe him anything. I say go for it and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 August 2013):
 You are both GROWN adults I can't see why you two (the lady and yourself) can pursue it.
Can be your buddy feels like you should out of respect for her ex, but if the ex isn't a friend of yours, then I don't see why YOU shouldn't see if she is for you.
I think your buddy is giving bad advice lol.
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