A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.So I posted yesterday about me finding out that the guy I'd been seeing had lied to me about his age.I googled him because I do that with guys I date just as a precaution because I like to know who I'm dating, about a year ago I was going out with this guy and after 6 months I googled him and found out he was active on a dating site, so I google every guy I date now just to be careful.So I'd been seeing this guy for about 3 months, I met him through my cousin, he told me he was 21 and was at uni, but on his myspace, his profile on the student room and on a cagefighting website it said he was 23, so I sent him a nice e-mail confronting him about it and asking him just to be honest with me.He e-mailed me back, and went apeshit. He said it was disgusting that I'd looked him up on google, he called me a stalker, he said I was a freak and he's genuinely frightened of me and for me to never contact him again. He said he hopes he never meets a stalker like me again. Lmao.So I left him a couple of voicemails this morning telling him that I understand why he's upset but explaining that I'm not a stalker and it's just a precautionary thing, I'm sorry for upsetting him and I think he overreacted and I'd like us to talk about it like adults.After speaking to my mum about it, I realized I've actually done nothing wrong and I shouldn't tolerate that, so I sent him a text saying this:"Actually uno wat, fuck this. I have done nothing wrong, I simply googled u because I'm interested in u and u start cussin me out and having a pop at me? Fuck that. Ur clearly the type of guy who gives up at the first hurdle, nt the kind of guy I wanna be with. I'm not gna tolerate being called names and being spoken to like that, so u can forget it, and I'm glad I've seen this side of u this early on. U overreacted, u know u overreacted. I'm gna miss u, but ur so not worth me getting this worked up over. I hope ur happy, uve just blown a good thing. And no, we cnt work it out, bcoz the truth is I should hav never taken u back. I genuinely wish u good luck for the future, I know u'll go far, but there is no more me and you. I hope this bs was worth it for u."I guess I just want some clarification that I've done the right thing by standing up to him and getting rid of this loser, and that I actually did nothing wrong googling him and being safe...Any responses are appreciated.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 I think you did the SMART thing, so don't feel bad. You are RIGHT in your assessment of him. Only a guy with something to hide or someone who lies a lot would get mad. BE glad you checked him out and that he freaked out, now you won't waste any more time on him.
However I would have sent him 1 text/e-mail and then deleted & blocked the asshat. Also I would talk to your cousin.. WHY would he/she want you to hook up with that jerk?
A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (10 April 2010):
I give you two thumbs up!
All you did was access PUBLIC information. It's not like you went through his email or anything.
Just let him go. He sounds like a nutcase.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): Nothing wrong with it I feel. My girlfriend admitted to me that she googled my name when we first got together, and mostly talked online; and was astonished by my awards and accomplishments. I got nothing to hide. However, other people will hide stuff, so I say to go for it.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 No, I dont think it is wrong to check out someone your seeing. If they don't want their info seen, then it is pretty simple really, ... dont plaster their stuff all over th net. If they wanna lie about stuff, then don't be so stupid as to leave a trail to get caught out on. Duh!
I probably would not have left a message quite like that myself, but can't disagree with you ditching him, especially with the way he reacted and the fact he did have something to hide. Good on ya for finding out instead of wasting your time!
That said, interesting idea, ... it had never occured to me to ever do that, so I just googled my mans name, but all the sites were in Maltese - which I suppose makes sense coz he is Maltese. I googled myself too for a laugh to see what came up but I have the same name as a famous celebrity so gave after 10 pages coz it is all about her.
Looks like I am a traceless secret squirrel lol.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 That was very cool! BRAVO! Too bad, he is the loser.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 It's not wrong. I wouldn't mind people googling me either but they won't find anything because I don't give my age and brag about myself online. What's the point of putting your info online if no one's going to read it? Your reply sounds like you are really angry and I wonder if it's worth it to be so worked up at a stranger.
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