A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it okay to talk to a married man who happens to be your ex 13 years ago? Its stricty friendship and platonic. We have no feelings for each other, but just want to be there for each other as friends. is that so wrong ..and his wifes knows of the friendship.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2009):
 I'm with Starfish.
You were together and have history together. Why rekindly a friendship? I have a friend who is also my ex. We rarely talk but we do exchange emails a few times a year. I have NO huge interest to keep him in my life, he's an EX for a reason.
I can't however say it's wrong. As a wife though I wouldn't appriciate it really. You are a part of his past.. let it go.
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (20 February 2009):
 No, it is not wrong. It is actually very nice that you can remain friends. Keep everything above board in the full knowledge and view of his wife. In other words be above suspician.
From the wifes point of view, she may tolerate this, and on some levels be ok with it, but she probably also has trouble with it on some level. She puts up with it to please her husband, but would probably be happier if you dropped off the edge of the earth, never to be seen again. I am the 'wife' in this scenero, although I am only the girlfriend really. My boyfriend of 4 years is friends with several ex's and it can be quite painful for me. I put up with it and accept that it is important for him and I would never try to make him give up their friendships as they dont really interfere with our lives too much. The only one we ever fought about was the one he was giving money to. That I felt was completely wrong and we fought constantly for a long time and nearly broke up over it. The money has finally stopped flowing and therefore (funny the direct correlation) the friendship has also diminished.
So, in conclusion, as long as there is nothing inappropriate about the relationship and you keep the wifes feeling paramount, I feel it is just fine and actually quite admirable,to keep up the friendship.
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A
female
reader, Kimberle +, writes (20 February 2009):
Personally I beleive that you never stop havin feelings for someone you were with .. especially if you were intimate. And I have been in several relationships when the man had an ex...and I would say "no it doesnt bother me", however deep down it did I just wanted to make him happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): no not wrong.
but you know that, so why the question - you think it will lead somewhere?
if he and the wife are cool about it - then its fine; be wary he might want more or the wife might say yes thats fine when she isn't.
Hugs Star .x.
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