A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and we love each other, we lived in the same island at first, but then he went back to the states and we haven't seen each other in four months, I know we have a strong relationship, but sometimes I can't help to have doubts.Is it normal for me to have doubts about our relationship? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou're right, thank you so much! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): You don't need a second opinion babe, you just need to trust yourself as much as you trust him, which in turn is trusting the relationship. Having doubts and breakdowns are two different things though. We don't know if things will work out 100%...no one will ever really know, but if both sides are willing to make it work then it will.
Good Luck, and your bf is trying his best. You should try your best as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for your answers!
here's the latest:
last night me and my boyfriend were talking and i always tend to have break downs while talking to him cause i miss him so much, and he always tells me that there is no point of dwelling on that, because all i'm doing is hurting myself.
this was our conversation:
him - i know, but i think you're dwelling on that too much; it's only making it worse on you.
me - i know, but i cant help it. i really miss you. and i know there's nothing i can do about it and that all i can don is suck it up and be patient, but it hurts not being with you. i love you so much!
him - i understand that honey. but everyday we have this conversation. there is nothing that can be done. i know how you feel and i think you know that i feel the same. talking about how bad it hurts for a week straight doesn't do you any good. i'm not saying ignore your feelings, but i don't think dwelling on them is good either.
me - i know, i'm sorry
him - you don't have to apologize to me. you're not doing anything wrong to me, but maybe yourself a bit.
me - maybe so baby, but like i said, i cant help it. the pain is there and i cant make it go away
him - listen, you can't talk about how much you love me, and that you'll wait forever if it means being with me and talk about how bad this situation is at the same time. it doesn't make any sense. you have to either see the bigger picture and hold on so we can be together eventually, or walk away and try to find happiness elsewhere. i know it sucks, but i'm not crying every night over it. i'm actually
happy with this, it could be better if we were together, but i'm ok with this because we're still 'together'.
me - you're right honey. i'm really grateful to have you, even though we're not together at them moment. i'm sorry i keep having this break downs.
i would never give up on us. i told you that already
him - again, you don't have to apologize to me. even if you said 'fuck this, i can't do it anymore', you still don't owe me an apology. it's a tough situation. i can't imagine one much tougher. but i just want you to be honest with yourself and realize what is best for you. don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to persuade you to give up or anything, but i want you to be happy. i'd rather that was with me, i just don't want you upset everyday because we're far apart.
me - i know and i also know that i'd never be happy with anyone else but you. and i'd never be happy knowing that i had a perfect guy, who loved me and i loved and i let him go just because the situation was rough. i think i am stronger than that, and if i am not, then i'll become, cause all i want is to be with you.
him - if that's the case, then start looking at it that way. instead of being so upset about us being apart, try to think about how good it is when we're together. so, it's settled. :D
me - yeah, thank you baby :)
there is no second though in my mind, i love him, and i will wait for us to be able to be together.
i know it's a lot, i just need a second opinion. thank you very much you guys!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Long distance relationships or ones that become such are much harder to deal with. Its normal to have doubts but can be overcome. There many articles about it in the article section of this site, so if you look around and do some searching you may learn a thing or two.
Good luck and all the best ^^
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