A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I don't know whether I'm just being silly here or whether I'm right to be as upset as I am. I've been with my boyfried for two years now and I love him and he loves me. Recently at uni there has been a guy who I just consider a friend but I know for a fact that his feelings towards me are a lot deeper. I have told my boyfriend about him as before he has asked me out despite knowing I am in a relationship. I was walking back from uni to get the bus when he said that I should go with him and another friend to get a coffee. I said yes as I thought it would be ok with the other friend there and that it wouldn't be too awkward.Well, we went to go and get coffee but the other friend didn't show up. His phone battery conveniently died so we couldn't contact her but I was there and I thought it would be a bit rude to go after he had kindly bought me a drink.As I'm drinking my coffee, talking to my friend, etc, I can hear my name being said and I look over and I see a group of people who I vaguely recognise and who I think are taking a picture of me/recording me on their phone. I finish the drink, we leave and I go home.An hour or so later I receive a text off of my boyfriend "Enjoy your coffee today?" - I hadn't told him I was going as it was a spur of the moment thing. I ring him and it turns out that the group of people were his work colleages and had "told on me" about going and having a drink with my friend. I could hear them in the background saying "Sorry Jxxxx! Busted!" I don't know why but that really got to me and I had to hang up and call him back shortly after.Is it wrong of me to feel violated, and absolutely fuming that they had the audacity to stick their noses into my business and possibly spread lies about me? I feel like I have done something wrong when I know I haven't. Should I tell my boyfriend to have a word with them or to just talk it through with him and leave it?I may just be over-reacting but thanks in advance x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses. I talked it over with my boyfriend and it's all ok now. Still don't know what to do about the guy who fancies me though... Thanks!
A
male
reader, yazanco  +, writes (17 March 2011):
what you have done is actually suspicious, and you should not feel violated at all. you were caught setting with a person in a coffee-shop or so, how do you expect you BF to understand the video. If you have told that would be okay, and your boyfriend already know that he has a crush on you.
For me it is fishy.
And if i were him, without understanding the situation, i would have never picked up a phone of yours.
But, again, let that guy go to your BF and talk to him that it was just an accident, and try to say everything to him.
try, try and try, we men are good-hearted.
Come back to us if things work out.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Your boyfriend should trust you. You weren't actually doing anything wrong. I assume there was no flirting, there was no physical contact.
I think you should talk to boyfriend about it, they are his colleagues so it is his choice, will he let them continually harass you and possibly manipulate your relationship like this or will he put an end to this. Talk to him about it, see what he thinks about all of this.
It does seem odd that he would text you such a strange message, it would appear as though he thought something was going on so, I would also advise you to try and sort out any trust issues that may have stemmed from this meeting his colleagues have so blindly exaggerated.
I hope that helps.
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