A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:He loved me. Said it 100 times a day. It was like a blessed relationship. Then he totally got introvert. Avoided even talking to me once a week . Used to get angry or just keep silent. Wasn't calling for weeks. I tried everything mostly by being patient. Told how much I love him. Gave him space. Asked directly if he wants to breakup temporary or permanent. After a year long struggle and a lot of suffering from my end, he broke up. It was like he wanted to end it NOW. Am hurt. Very.I am convinced he fell out of love. But then why did he desperately want to remain as a friend and was clear Just friends.LOL. Why did he desperate to receive my sms replies? While I had to wait for 2 days even to hear from him when he was claiming he loves me is bit disturbed and busy. But yes he was very clear- good friends.I cut all communication from him. Don't think I can be a friend. Can't even imagine.I don't understand why some men can't communicate clearly. I wasted a year! And I still have same emotions. It's hard to believe he isn't and will not be there.I don't have a question, Know time will heal me and God's grace.Just felt like typing it in somewhere. If you wish please pray for me. I need to forgive him completely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): *original poster*
Thank you for sharing it cupidus.
I felt exactly the same about my condition.
Yes, now there is no use to dwell on it.
When we were friends he used to share his sadness about his break up, I had given him enough shoulder.
He used to say, he'll never fall in love again. Once he had asked me, is it possible to truly love again once broken? I had told him, love is what I feel inside about myself in presence of some person. It is what I can give, if right person comes I will fall in love again head over heels.
Because my previous crush(first love :P) had acted silly & I was not in a mood for relationship for many years. (lol) I had told this to him to not to discourage.
After couple of weeks , he had started giving me signs and I fell really hard for him, cuz I knew(assumed) how deeply he can love ...didn't think he would leave me in a state he went through for months.
hehe..all these memories, hard to believe.
I am working insane and glad rarely get time to ponder on the past. When I do travel,thoughts come to mind & it hurts but just living with it. And and and, I want to feel loved one more and last time forever too.. I ain't gonna give up on my heart. I will wait for that special someone :D
Thanks again..wish you all the love in the world and a beautiful life : )Take care sis.. : )
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 I had a BF who said the same thing to me
"I've been really hurt and opening up to you or anyone is not really what I can do"
I looked at him and I said
"Ah, I see what's going on, you are just passing the buck,
you were hurt so you want someone else to feel your pain, so you hurt someone else. No, not even noticing it because, well, you need attention and love like all humans. So you gotta see that until you are ready to love again and get over your pain, you will continue to hurt others, if not you will pass the pain. See why it is so important to get your shit together, to be fully available. You don't even see that you have hurt me because you can only focus on your own pain. That's not where I want to be standing, it's been fun I'll get over you and my pain, because I am determined that I want a solid loving relationship that blows this world into a new reality. I want it so bad I can taste it. I have been hurt before you, I may be hurt again, but the pain is only recognized for what it is at the time. I can't dwell on pain when I am focused on gain.
I love you for the pain and the pleasure, I hope you get well, if you do need to talk about it though, sorry I am not the one to help you, you'll have to seek assistance someplace else, I'm on a totally different mission"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): I am the original poster.
Thank you *cupidus*.
Don't think there is any way even for good friendship. Of course I will be a well wisher.
After breakup I needed time but he was eager on friends part without even thinking what I was going through. I had told him I will be in contact but did not respond to the extent he expected I would. Cuz I needed a break badly. After 3 weeks I contacted him through sms. Guess his ego got wounded for he felt I don't need him. He did not reply.
His thought was even we have broke up breaking friendship seems immature.
Yeah he was on high mood swings. He used to share every little detail, had then suddenly stopped.
There is one more thing, my second name and his previous ex's name are same. In the end he took that excuse, that he gets disturbed while it was never a problem before.
I think he was in a rebound relationship. He had clarified he was not only after that we got involved after being very close friends for 6 months. Then everything was really good for only 3 months , a year after that was just painful for me.
While breaking up he said , she had hurt him like hell and his friends dislike her too. My only feeling was- what about me?
I am hurt more of the fact that his love was not true knowingly or unknowingly.
Anyway , this phase ( 1 year + 3 months) has made me to strengthen as a person. Just that here and there I feel betrayed. : )I deserve a better life anytime :D
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A
female
reader, cupidus +, writes (17 March 2011):
I feel ya !
You don't need to forgive him, you need to forget him.
Not easy because, well, it's your ego, your self worth.
Not easy stuff when you decided to hand your fella your heart on a plate. He could be going through all kinds of stuff in his private life that you don't have a clue about.
It's not really about you, but from here on it's going to be ALL about YOU..
Make it so.
I know he'll want to remain a friend, either out of guilt or stringing you along or just as an emotional dump, because he may not have anyone else to dump on.
Guys often go back to their ex's because they need to talk to a women, guys can't do it for them, they need compassion and deeper discussion from a female.
Don't go there, he'll feel great and you'll feel lost.
Here's a clue, call him, tell him you need to talk to him about something that has happened in your life. If he comes running to the rescue, maybe there's hope.
If he says, busy, no time, gotta work, broke my foot, car was stolen.. You'll have your answer.
Stay Calm, Move Along...
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