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Is it wrong for a 13 year old to date a 16 year old?

Tagged as: Age differences, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 September 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 September 2008)
A female United States age 26-29, *ethswinney writes:

im 13 and i really like this guy who is 15, but he is about to turn 16 in a couple months, is it wrong if we date? but i really like him, and he really likes me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008):

Yes it is! this is the only site that says it's okay. I got a 13yr old sister, if she dated a 16yr old boy I would seriously question him. Why would a 16yr old want with a 13yr old? he will want sex and what not and he could easily get that with a girl his own age and also there be on the same level mentally.

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A female reader, bethswinney United States +, writes (15 September 2008):

bethswinney is verified as being by the original poster of the question

bethswinney agony auntthanks everyone who helped me, i know that i should deffinatly date this guy. he is totally awesome, and he understands me and likes me for me. thats totally awesome. thank you. 3

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (15 September 2008):

DoubleM agony auntI'll offer what you may consider a "Granddad" opinion - being that I'm about 60-years-old, which you likely consider archaic (but probably unlike what you have been told, it was quite wild and fun back then for many of us oldies):

Of course you can and should begin to "hang-out" (or call it date) some special guy who seems to be on your wavelength. Get started by just arranging to get together whenever - after school, the mall and movies, whatever. It is has always been encouraged and permitted in MOST American communities throughout the U.S.A. existence. Even old fuddie-duddies my age started meeting-up with others by about 13 or so.

As barely a teenager (13) you will probably soon have some serious choices to make. But it's just the same age-old baseball game we have all seen.

"Are you going to let all the boys you meet over the next 10 years hit a home run against you?" You are like the all-important "catcher" guarding the plate, as well as the pitcher . . .

"Will you allow every Tom, Dick and Harry an easy pitch for trips around the bases - and little to no defense at home plate?"

OR

"Will you make it fairly hard to get to first base - much more difficult to get near third base - and all but impossible to hit home? It's called defense against all hitters. Only the very best would even have an outside chance !"

It's up to you.

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A female reader, Oceania Mexico +, writes (15 September 2008):

Oceania agony auntI dont think it's wrong

if you really like him, go for it.

But remember those 3 years of difference

will eventually come out when you talk about a subject and

you have different opinions or at the moment when you both want to get things physical etc.

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A female reader, Tremor Australia +, writes (15 September 2008):

Tremor agony auntOf course it isn't 'wrong'. As far as age gaps go, you could do worse than three years.

That said, if you DO go out, be aware that a 16 year old boy will likely want different things out of a relationship than a 13 year old girl - not only in regards to the physical side of things, but also in regards to mental and emotional maturity.

It's not 'wrong', but it could be unwise. However, I don't know what your relationship is like, so all I can tell you is to tread carefully, and good luck. =)

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