A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am confused here. I don't know how she thinks and what she want. Her actions and words are contrary.I am with her for almost 1 year. We start off great but now I feel the love is dying. We live far and rarely meet.We rely mostly on instant messenger, email, phone and text to keep in touch. We used to talk on instant messenger everyday but now, we talk less and less. She no longer call me like she used to. The last time she called is 1 week ago.I thought she is busy, I didn't ask her anything but give her time. It is 3 weeks now. She told me nothing. When we talk, I can no longer feel her interest.When I miss her, I call her. Calling 4 to 5 times a week and she miss all that without returning the call. Usually I text her after the missed call. No return too. When I can finally reach her, perhaps she allows me to reach her, I said I miss her. She said she miss me too but I don't feel it from her action.I tried a lot of things to keep it bright. Thinking online activities that can be done together, learning things she likes so that we can talk about it. Nothing work.She is more to pull and push. When I want to move on, she makes herself closer to me. I fall for her again and she pushes me away. I am feeling miserable.I showed my concern about the relationship. She said I am worrying too much because she said at her age, she has settle down. By the way, she is 30+ and I am 20+.Is it true most women settle down at 30+? Or does that mean she no longer love me? What should I do to fix things up? Should I move on?Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Hello
Sorry it's a bit late after your post. I hope your'e not feeling sad now. My advice to you is not to lose heart, none of us know our future and you really don't know how she is feeling. Don't call her too often and don't chase after her too much as nobody is attracted to somebody who is desperate....but you can email her, tell her about your life, especially the positive bits! Are you apart because of visa problem? I have a distance relationship with a younger man. From the point of view of an older woman, I'd say she is fighting her head with her heart! Good luck and I'd like to hear how it goes.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): Thanks for the reply.
I feel the same, she is playing the games.
Relationship should be from both sides. When the distance is there for a long time frame, it requires a strong commitment which I no longer see it from her.
I hope to find peace.
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A
male
reader, kinkydude  +, writes (15 September 2008):
I'm sorry to tell you this, but long distance relationships almost never work.
there are of course, exceptions, but the general rule is that, for a relationship to work, there needs to be physical intimacy. When that isn't there, there isn't a much of a relationship. Unless you can be closer to eachother, I would really move on. This situation will just make you miserable. Unless she can be where you are, or you where she is, you should put an end to things. thats my take.
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