A
female
age
51-59,
*alamitysil
writes:Once again I've sabotaged what could have been a potential relationship with a man I still have strong feelings for! I'm a fairly confident woman around men, but as soon as I'm attracted to someone and I develop feelings for them, I turn into one of these pathetic types who become needy and clingy(usually after we've been intimate together when I suddenly feel very vulnerable around them). This has only happened to me 3 times in my lifetime (I'm 39), so I don't fall in love very easily, but on all 3 occasions I've fallen very hard especially this particular man whom I met 5 years ago. Basically R had just split up with his wife and was in the middle of a divorce at that time and felt he couldn't commit. I took it badly and backed off after he told me we could be friends if that was what I wanted but no hugs and kisses. I calmly walked out the door and we haven't spoken since, which is no mean feat if you live across the way from each other!!!My question is, 5 years later of us blanking each other, is it worth trying to patch things up? He's very special to me and has most things I look for in a companion and lover although quite a bit older at 54. I'm extremely attracted to him even after all this time, but I'm worried he was put off by me at the time basing my happiness on being with him, as well as remaining in my unhappy marriage purely for financial reasons. We "exist" together, don't share a bed and as soon as we sell this house in the next few months, will be going our seperate ways.
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female
reader, calamitysil +, writes (11 October 2007):
calamitysil is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the link baby duck. I've vowed not to go anywhere near R until I can say with certainty that I want him but do not need him! Should things work out, this is one relationship I want to nurture and not screw up.
Tommy, I am married but it has been a pure formality for the last 5 years. He knows about R after I confessed. Our marriage was in trouble way before R came along. I haven't approached R in all these years as he's made it clear he doesn't want to be involved with a married woman and I respect that.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (10 October 2007):
Are you saying you are married and want to begin stalking an old bf? If so, I say wait until your divorce is final. You already know what this guy thinks about stepping out. You may ruin any chance you may have.
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