A
female
age
36-40,
*ouncychick
writes:i remember driving down the road a couple of years ago, thats when it all started, i saw a guy,only from a side angle,i thought he was gorgeous,i couldnt keep my eyes off him,i wanted to see his face more than anything,but the lights changed and we drove off.i then went in to the bakers about ten minutes later,he was infront of me in the que,i was ready to ask for his number,then he turned,he had the most gorgeous eyes iv ever seen,but as i looked at his soft lips,and he said hi to me, i realised it was my cousin......i was moments from kissing hte guy and found out i was related?! But as I said, this is when it all started. We've never really been close as my family isnt really one to "be a family" but we went to a few family parties,had a couple of drinks together,then whole time i was flirting with him,wondering if he felt the same...we went to the pub a couple of weeks ago,my ex-partner was with us with a couple of his friends,they stood at the bar talking,an just left me and my cousin to it,from what they said,it looked like we were on a date,and they said they were waiting for us to seal it with a kiss,but i dont know if it was just my body language they picked that up from or my cousins?or both?as we've never been that close i dont really know what he's like around his friends and what he's like around female relatives or friends.......also when we went out one night,people thought we were actually a couple because of the way we were together,even the ppl we were out with...they said we had good chemistry,but towards the end of the night,we were both really drunk,and i was really tempted to kiss him,but i managed to hold myself back,he doesnt really remember much after he's been out, so i was wondering,do i ask him how he feels about me when hes drunk and hope that if he says the same as me,he means and rembers it,an if he thinks bad of me for askin,that he doesnt remember??i feel as though he may be attracted to me,but hasnt said anything cause we're related,i just dont know what to do?and because we work so well together,have a lot in common,a lot the same anyways,we would last in a relationship.but is it worth the risk??
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female
reader, lianne x  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 hey guys thanks for the answers, i gave it alot of thought , and iv not doen anything about it, more of the fact that i dont wana loose him as a friend, i love him too much for that ...maybe in a few years time ill see how i still feel , and if its still the same and he has the same reponse, i might show him this page , and say oh my god ,, have you seen this etc, and gauge his reaction on the question and answers.....but thanks guys , youve been groovey!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): Well that's the thing, the word "incest" differs from culture to culture, region to region, and person to person. If you look at British Royalty, cousins have been known to date and marry each other over the last few hundred years, and this is a predominate practice in most other countries that have had monarchy as a part of their political structure. With royalty aside, this practice, though frowned upon mainly by religious organizations, it is has been - I am having an educated guess, in the last 3000 years been a subject that has popped up very frequently.
The fact of the this matter as I see from your comment, is that you don't see cousins having an intimate relationship as wrong, though you do recognize that incest could be a bad thing. I say, if you want to go for it, do it. Who are we to tell you what to do and what not to do? If your question was asking something like "I want to pursue a relationship with my brother" then I wouldn't advise you try anything or if you had said "I want to pursue a relationship with my dad" well, that's cutting it quite through the borders of well, you know.
Yeah, so ultimately, this is a choice you should make on your own, despite what the majority of people feel about this. Personally, I am indifferent. Logically, I don't see anything wrong with it. Emotionally, though I have my own beliefs, I still live within the boundaries of this common society, so I am influenced by how others think to a degree.
To answer your questions however, as I said before, maybe you can bring out that question with your mom in an indirect way - eg: in a casual conversation about anything and you say "Oh I heard from my friend the other day that she found out that her two elder cousins have been seeing each other on an intimate level. That's so weird. I wonder how their parents are treating it!?"
Stuff like that. You know?
As for your cousin, well, we wouldn't know how he would take it. Only you can gauge that. Mhm.
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A
female
reader, bouncychick +, writes (24 April 2007):
bouncychick is verified as being by the original poster of the question i myself think that incest is wrong, but if id of met him in a club or somthing and not known ,then it would of happened any ways....
i know the whole drunk thing is a bad idea but thats when most ppl are more comfortable with their emotions.
i like the idea of pointing out htat im so attracted to him that he'll make the first move, but what if he thinks im just being overly friendly?
we wernt that close cousins but now we've grown up, we're starting to get a lot closer....i dont know wether to or not cause if he is totaly against it .....then iv lost a friend, and if our family doesnt approve of it and they find out ...iv lost them aswell!?
its a really hard can of worms to tackle!?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): How close of cousins? If there a direct blood relation?
In my opinion if you want to go through with it try and make it so obvious that you're attracted to him that he'll make the first move.
Some advice though, if you guys do go into a relationship keep it to yourselves, you'll end up being thought of as a couple of inbred hicks by anyone who finds out.
Myself included, I think incest downright preverted... But whatever floats your boat.
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female
reader, Mandy12  +, writes (23 April 2007):
This depends on how much you actaully like him....If u really do..then mayb you shuld ask him ...when he's sober . i dont think the drunk thing is a good idea. wat have u got to loose rite? if u guys arent that close .... then ask him, if he disagrees with u, then its gon be just like it was before u met him..but if he agrees...then try to get know him better, n see how things work out. so just talk to him! Anyways this is my opinion..its ur decision to make...i hope i helped... good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): If the risk you are talking about has to do with how localized society may see you, then you have to think this through and through on your own. There will be people out there that will cast you down because of this.
If the risk you are talking about has to do with possible birth defects, the supposed rate for that to happen is quite slim and those with the opinion that most cousins who have children together are all retarded one way or another, are mainly fueled by their own religious or otherwise, 'moral' beliefs. Based on various informative sites on the web, the medium for birth defects are like this: children of non-related couples have a 2-3% risk of birth defects, as opposed to first cousins having a 4-6% risk.
You should also know it also depends on how your families feel about this, and the laws pertaining to the region you live in.
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