A
female
age
41-50,
*azzie1
writes:Do you ever think I man with a bad, violent temper could change? He's good in certain ways takes care of me cleans, cooks but when he gets upset all hell breaks loose. I was living with him for 2yrs and just moved out but he says that he knows we can't live together but that we should stay together until we meet other people. Do u think it's worth making things work, I also have two boys but not from him. My mother tells me every couple argues that doesn't mean u let go.
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male
reader, Neboraic  +, writes (19 December 2007):
I would say yes, stay. As long as it doesnt make you unhappy in the long term, if its just a bad trait that you can live with then. If it makes your life (or the childrens life) hell, if it robs you of happiness (the happiness he is supposed to bring you), then go. If hes a good man he will make an effort for the woman he loves.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (18 December 2007):
 That's a tough one. How violent are we talking? Does he break things?...Does he hit you? Or does he just verbally explode? I too am with a somewhat hot-tempered man right now and have had to take a good hard look at what that means. My b/f is usually very sweet and loving, he's generous with his money and his time and treats me well MOST of the time. But when he's under pressure at work, or when there's too many problems (plumbing, bills issues with his kids) he tends to have a very short fuse and can be blunt to the point of being hateful at times. There are also hot buttons that will generally cause an argument (usually discussions that involve his ex-girlfriends) and can escalate into sessions of him yelling and cursing. I've been with him 3 years and he's never thrown anything, broken anything, or even acted like he might strike me. He doesn't kick the dogs or do anything physical. With him, it's all verbal and it's usually provoked by something. So I've had to learn when to sense his moods, and not approach him for petty things when he's already maxed out emotionally. As for the ex-girlfriends, well that never totally goes away because there's a couple of them who insist on calling or emailing him now and then, which just pisses me off and we almost always end up fighting about why they are still in his life, but that's my problem not yours. I think men in general don't handle anger all that well, but as long has he's not being physically violent, or harmful to your kids and he's not lashing out at you unnecessarily you may have to decide what you can tolerate. Good luck.
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