A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i met this guy on a dating site we exchanged e-mail address and phone numbers we have been talking for a week now and we found out we have alot in common. He asked me if i talk to anyone else on the site i said yes i get e-mails from others but i tell them iam seeing someone.Then he told me that he met someone before me and he is still talking to her.He said that he wanted to be honest with me but he likes me alot. He told me that he does not want to lose me. What do you think Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Online chat cannot be considered the start of a relationship. Only when you have met (for real) on several occasions and both feel the same and want to proceed with each other can it be considered anything like a relationship.
Go with your gut reaction on this guy. Meet him if you must but if he loses interest or you find he's not for you, then walk. Its as well to pick guys who live close to you as large amounts of travel are costly and can often prove to be fruitless. Be careful and dont rush into casual sex.
Good Luck!!
Aunty Em x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): You are not, in fact, seeing anyone at this point. You've known this guy online for only a week, and even if the two of you are interested in going out, you have no claims over him whatsoever at this early stage and you shouldn't expect him to be ignoring other girls when his thing with you is so tentative.
By turn, if you're worried about "investing" in this guy (who you know nothing about), you could always entertain some of those other guys who are sending you messages.
Can you see his logic now?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 I think he should make up his mind whether he wants to take his chances on you or the other lady. I think that, if you fancy someone, you should focus on that someone. If it doesn't work, well, that's part of the process.
Also, I wonder if you could trust him if you began a relationship in this manner. What is the extent of his "talking" to this other lady? What are your chances with him?
I think it's a bad sign that he doesn't want to stop talking to the other girl. At best, your current chances with him are 50-50. If he were convinced you're worth the chance, he'd already have dumped her.
If I were you, I would tell him to dump the other girl if he wants anything with you. But you know yourself better.
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