Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 based on what you have written you have a friendly relationship now.
I think that friendly and cordial is the best you can hope for.
do not push at all... and if you really really really want to be JUST friends... again just sit tight and wait for him to come to you... do not get all excited about this.
I mean seriously if your gf did this after a fight would you be acting like this?
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female
reader, Blue10  +, writes (1 June 2014):
I do only genuinely want to be friends
I was genuinely cool and a calm because I was so happy that the bad feelings lifting
I was a certain way also because at the time when you're feeling in limbo you will act out of character
I'm over that and do only genuinely want him as a friend
And we were at a bar noones house
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2014): It sounds like he was only trying to ease the tension. You were two guests in someone's home; and you both should leave your differences at the door out of proper etiquette.
You had no right to ruin the mood for others.
He was being civil, as he should. That hardly means anything at all. Alcohol lowers the inhibitions; so there is going to be a point of euphoria under the influence of the spirits consumed; and sentimental feelings rise to the surface. It can pass as soon as everyone is sober again.
You were emotionally clingy; because you wanted more than friendship. You won't come right out and admit it. When friendships are interrupted by infatuation or unrequited love; it is awkward from that point on. He knows he can't be around you too long; before you're back at it again.
Keep it distant, casual, and civilized. Friendships shouldn't be awkward. Don't "play" anything. Be an adult, and write him off. Otherwise; avoid social situations if you can't deal with him being there. The question is, if you're making it your business to be places where you know he'll be? I'm not sure if we'll get an honest answer to that question.
I really don't think you want a platonic relationship with him; and you're disguising your feelings as an excuse to be close. That doesn't work, because you're constantly in conflict with your true feelings. The person on the receiving end of an infatuation becomes so annoyed and uncomfortable with fending you off, they just want to end it altogether.
Since it doesn't seem to work for either of you. Move on and forget about him.
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female
reader, Blue10 +, writes (1 June 2014):
You guys are amazing
I just want him back as a friend
I just have to stay cool and calm
I hope we will become friends
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (1 June 2014):
 If it's 'just' friendship you want then there is no problem, to me you still sound emotionally attached, which would mean you would be back to square one if it all went wrong again.
You say you don't talk much anymore - but that you have spoken some, so all contact was not broken.
Let him lead as I said before, then he knows the ball is in his court. Do not chase o expect too much
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female
reader, Blue10 +, writes (1 June 2014):
I am very calm and cool compared to before - I'm even amazed and think he saw that too
I really appreciate your input but its just that I really would love a friendship again with him but just don't know where to go
I will remain cool and calm but I hope he would want to be friends again
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 June 2014):
 If you think you would become "clingy" again around him, I'd suggest you don't do anything but keep being polite when you run into him.
If you are "over" whatever possessed you to become clingy (did you fancy him and wanted more perhaps?) but no longer feel that way, I'd just gradually let him back in your life IF he wants that too. LET him make the first move though.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (1 June 2014):
Yes play it well cool, the air has cleared slightly but there was drink involved and a different atmosphere to work.
You make him sound like he spent an hour or so nodding like a wobbly doll, he may still like you a bit but in the cold light of day he will recall how it all ended.
If there is any future let 'him' initiate and remember fools rush in etc
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female
reader, Blue10 +, writes (1 June 2014):
What I'm trying to figure out though is can we start being friends again
Has what's happened a good sign ?
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male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (1 June 2014):
 Sorry I misread your post. I still stand by my advice though, sounds all a bit awkward to form the basis of anything.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2014): I remember your posts from before (She was the one who became clingy - not the guy)
Continue to play it cool. Only see him and chat to him when your paths cross in the office and at functions. And still bear in mind that your relationship was a real non-starter so don't get your hopes up that this is a route to rekindling what you had.
But at least you know that he doesn't hate you - as you previously feared.
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male
reader, wise-guy +, writes (1 June 2014):
Certainly seems to be some unresolved issues with him regarding you, that's for sure! As a guy I know when another guy is trying to get attention and from the sounds of it he was certainly doing that at the party.
Maybe he feels something for you? Maybe seeing you made him think 'wow' I dunno.
Do you like him? What are your thoughts and feelings about him and the whole situation? - If I were you I'd certainly play it cool y'know, don't make too much of it either way
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female
reader, Blue10 +, writes (1 June 2014):
Sorry to clarify I was the emotional clingy one not him
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male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (1 June 2014):
Yes play it cool. So cool you have to zip your jacket up to keep warm. He is clearly yet to move on and probably has feelings for you still. Assuming you don't want anything to do with him romantically then I would delete his number, don't reply to his texts and only speak to him in a professional capacity. He was clingy before, now he is hugging you. He hasn't changed so avoid. Simple.
Mark
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