A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it weird for an 18 year old not to be interested in sex? Not only am I not interested I really don't want to do it, I still feel young and that is such an adult thing to do. I would also be very worried about getting pregnant, even though I know with protection the chances would be slim.It is not only that I don't want to do, I don't want to "show myself" to my boyfriend of 3 years. I am so uncomfortable with my body but I feel he is getting increasingly impatient with me. And when he does I get annoyed, but then I wonder whether it is me being the annoying one. Ah! What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (12 October 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
I think it's totally cool that you're not interested in sex. You're not ready, that's fine... you've got the rest of your life to be doing it, so if you're not wanting to jump in the sack, I don't see any issues.
I do think that your mass discomfort with your body needs to be handled though. No matter how old you are, if you're sexually active or not - you should be comfortable with yourself and your body. Remember that you're beautiful and accept every inch of yourself.
Your boyfriend should be reminding you everyday how gorgeous you are. He shouldn't pressure you for sex if you're not ready for it... a good man will be patient with you.
Anyhow, work on those body issues and the sex can wait until you're good and ready!
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): You are young and it will be great when the time is right, and it obviously isnt by the way that you feel. Your body and mind are telling you it isnt right yet, so listen to them and dont be hurried by your bf. If he does get annoyed then tough, tell him it is up to you when you have sex.
take care and dont be forced into it.
xx
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (12 October 2007):
 You're just not ready yet. That's okay. In fact, it's a pretty good thing - you seem well-informed and sure of yourself. Don't let yourself be pressured into doing anything you don't want to. One of my best friends was a virgin until she was twenty-two, and she was with her boyfriend for four years before they got around to doing it. She said pretty much the same thing as you - it wasn't anything to do with religious beliefs or no sex before marriage, it was just: she didn't want to. She thought it sounded disgusting and although she loved her boyfriend, she wasn't ready. And then one day she was, and it all worked out fine.
Good luck and don't worry!
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A
female
reader, beauty585 +, writes (12 October 2007):
 maybe you dont like sex because your not ready yet..and also because you have a good future ahead of you and are afraid if you have sex that you will end up pregnant which is something that you dont want righ..d if your bf is your bf then he likes you for reasons which means that he lieks your body.but yea i feel that its you being the annoying one once it comes to showing him yourself..u need self esteem like i said if hes your bf then he likes you if he didnt then he wouldnt be with you..but the way you act about your body probably will make him impatient with you and not want to be with you so think about that..good luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): Cats?
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (12 October 2007):
Your thoughts are seving you ill. Do yo like cats?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): I think you are showing a lot of maturity here in not wanting to have sex at your age. I think you probably have some goals past high school and you don't want an unwanted pregnancy or perhaps even a boyfriend of three years to get in the way of achieving those. This is not being annoying or selfish to your boyfriend, this is about your life.
You need to be asking the question instead of, is there something wrong with me and is it my fault my boyfriend is growing impatient what should I do, ask instead, why am I putting up with this from a guy telling me that I should be ready to have sex when I clearly am not, why is it that I am with him for three long years when I was a kid when I met him and I am still too young to be that seriously tied down to anyone, what is it that I want to do with my life and how does he fit into that if at all? Is it time to end the relationship, is it more trouble than it is worth because we want different things and we are at a crossroads, where this is mostly habit, rather than real love?
You are thinking smart, you should be worried about getting pregnant, as it is not all that slim of a chance and you are not in a position most likely to support a child at this stage in your lives.....
Tell your boyfriend how you feel and what you want....it is only fair to be true to yourself and by doing so be honest with him.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 October 2007):
 I think you need to work on your self esteem for your body issue. I commend you for the lack of sex. That is awesome. Someone who thinks about what can happen if they do something before they do it instead of fixing it after.
If he loves you, he'll wait until your ready. There's no rush.
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