A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Just want to get some opinions on that.I m In my 40s with grown children that are independent. I finally got in a stage of my life where we are comfortable with money. I help my husband in our business, but during summer it's slow, so I have a chance to travel. I love traveling, wih kids never had this much chance, but now when I don't have this obligation anymore I feel like I deserve this.My husband doesn't mind at all. He travels with me too, but he can't accompany me all the time.Every time I tell my friends or parents about me wanting to go somewhere without my husband, I hear: how does he let you, how can you leave him for such a long time, we never heard of such a thing that wife travels without husband, I can't believe how much your husband trusts you, I would never travel by myself and so on.I tell my husband about these remArks and he says not to pay attention.When I travel I meet sometimes people who travel by themselves, most of them are younger and single. To think of it, I really never met a married woman traveling by herself. I would love to travel with a friend, but all my friends either don't have as mu h money, or have small kids. My kids actually think it's the coolest thing I do. I m planing another trip, and recently was talking to my esthetician about it and how excited I m , and heard this again, really?by yourself? And your husband let's you?First of all I don't understand why my husband needs to give me permission. We are adults, noone needs anyones permission. I would definitely advice with my husband, but would never expect him to let me do something or don't. I hear it though so often, even in my traveling, I hear strangers telling me the same, that I started doubting. Am I doing something socially unacceptable is it highly unusual for spouses to travel by themselves? Do people think that i have some kind of agenda traveling without him, because sometimes I detected even suggestions that I go to full around.Thank you for your answers.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 What is socially unacceptable clearly depends from which society you live in. As for that, there are groups and commmunity where is still nowadays " socially unacceptable" that the wife goes grocery shopping alone !
Apparently, you deal with a very conservative, traditional environment ( rather surprising for USA,IMO, but then again , what do I know, I only know New York and Los Angeles ). In my experience and society, a spouse occasionally travelling alone is nothing to write home about and does not raise eyebrows. Also because in most couples I know both spouses work, and not always their vacation times can coincide.
Then again, if your husband, who is the only one who would have the right to complain, does not complain and does not mind at all... do you need to even listen to what people say ? Why ? Do they pay your rent, own your house, grow up your children ?.. No ?... Then let them talk at their heart's content, they are free to give their opinion. And you are free , of course, to ignore it and do what works for you, and for your husband.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): the only person who should have any input in whether you go on vacation by yourself, is your husband. Your other family and friends' opinions have no bearing on the matter and you shouldn't adjust what you want to do to suit them, if your husband is OK with you traveling without him.I have traveled without my husband many times, and my always family reacts the same as yours. They express so much concern, thinking that we are on the verge of divorce or something. I just ignore them.I know many couples who travel by themselves. It's often related to work but where a vacation is added at the end of the work phase but still doesn't involve the spouse because the spouse can't just take off from their job and may not even want to join in. I know people who have spent months abroad without their spouses. I also know lots of people who travel for reunions with their families of origin, without their spouses, because the spouse doesn't care to spend an extended period time around people he/she doesn't know and has no connection or history with. I say that as long as your husband isn't hurt or anxious that you're traveling without him, then go for it. The view that spouses must be joined at the hip in all their recreational pursuits, is unhealthy in my opinion. there's nothing wrong with taking up a hobby without your spouse such as gardening or a yoga class or whatnot. Those situations are common. So why should traveling and vacationing be any different??
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 November 2012):
 It might be a little unusual, but I don't see anything wrong with it per se.
Personally, I would not want to travel all alone, I would WANT to share those experiences with others, preferably my spouse. But as it stands there are places I wish to revisit at some point that he doesn't like/doesn't find interesting, so it might be that I go by myself or with a friend.
I don't think your husband NEEDS to give you permission, neither does your husband.. And that is all that matters. If YOU and your Husband are happy with how you live your life, SCREW what others think.
ENJOY living life.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 November 2012):
 I think it's quite an outdated view to have to ask permission from a nusband or partner. Of course there is no harm in having an adult discussion about things you want to do, so you both know whats going on, but permission???...No.
Some women are stuck in a time warp and probably enjoy the drama of making a big deal out of 'asking permission' and flustering their feathers about such things.
You obviously have a good and trusting relationship and both you and your partner are happy for you to travel alone, so ignore all the comments and just do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): Hmm, you think it's the fairness that bothers my surroundings. It never occurred to me! But thank You for a different point of view:)
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (12 November 2012):
 The short answer to your question is "yes" -- it is unusual for married spouses to travel alone. Is there anything wrong with it? No would be my answer.
There is a certain mindset that often accompanies people on travel is that what happens on the road stays on the road. People are more likely to stray when their mind is in vacation mode.
Sometimes, a bit of danger comes with traveling alone. You never know when you are going to make a wrong turn in a lousy part of town and having a man present can certainly prevent a bad situation from getting worse.
Finally, there is the sense of fairness and fair play. Your husband is obviously working to pay the bills, so he should have an opportunity to enjoy the spoils as much as you do. If he doesn't get the opportunity to travel, he might feel cheated or taken advantage of. Also by traveling alone, it may give off the impression that you don't enjoy your husband's company...
Again, there is nothing wrong with traveling alone. You are free to do as you will. Don't let your friends' reaction thwart you from enjoying something if you AND your husband are happy with your arrangement.
Eddie
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