A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 7 years. Everything was great for the first 5 1/2 years then in the fall of our sixth year things changed she became distant and sex which up till then was great it suddenly stopped everytime I approached her about it she said she just doesn't feel like it. One evening in November I found a email she had printed off from a man whose name I didn't recognize it was telling her about a concert she might be interested in. I approached her the next day about who he was and she said he works for the same company she does except in another building a few miles away. After pressing her for more info she finally said that she had spent a couple evenings helping him with some of his work. Thier jobs are not the same and it was not apart of her job to help him, when I asked her how it was she came to help him she couldn't remember and when I asked why she didn't tell me she said she did not feel it was that important. I can not help but feel I am not getting the complete story and still have not found out why she volunteered to help or why he had her personal email address. Am I just to suspicious ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2014): It seems fishy to me too. But for now, just keep your eyes open to other clues. Make note of the date of this concert and either attend with her, or make sure you plan something with her on the same night. Keep a low profile, meaning don't let her know you're watching her, but pay attention to how late she works at night, where she is going for lunch. Maybe pop into her office a few times and take her to lunch. Send her flowers. Make sure everyone knows you love your wife and she'd be stupid to fall for another man just because he's paying attention to her. Good luck.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2014):
 IF your wife is around the same age you are, her lack of drive may not be due to cheating but rather due to menopausal changes. Has your wife had a complete GYN work up in the last year?
I am friends with guys at work who are not directly in my area and we email and facebook but there is nothing sneaky going on. I don't tell my husband every email I get. I often don't mention things to him, not because I am hiding them but rather it's more clutter for his brain to process.
how closely time wise are the lack of sex and her meeting this guy... she may not be cheating physically but there may be an emotional component to the friendship that is not comfortable for her and she is cheating emotionally....
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 All signs are there that there is more to this story. Unfortunately unless she comes clean or you put a trail on her there is no way of finding the truth. Its rather strange that she does not remember how she came about helping this guy that does not work in the same field as her. I suggest you lay low and watch her carefully. Do you know what you will do if she is unfaithful? You need to be prepared regarding whatever the outcome. Its pointless chasing the truth and then you decide to bury it. Good luck and take care, I suspect you have a rock path ahead.
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A
male
reader, DragonMan  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 Greetings,
In a situation like this if the pieces don't fit then suspicion is logical.
You say that they are part of the same company yet work in two separate buildings in two separate jobs that don't link?
That is point one.
Secondly, they seem close enough to be talking about concerts? Surely he would've been a friend first for that to happen meaning they would've met before.
Thirdly the fact you had to push for this information seems strange. If it wasn't anything serious then it wouldn't be too much trouble to just say.
Keeps being cautious but don't make assumptions without hard proof
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A
male
reader, Levsn  +, writes (11 February 2014):
Seeing as she has become distant and sex has gone down... it may be that she's into him a bit more. Combine that with her helping him with work and the concert and you got a basic understanding of what may be happening there. Hopefully it's not what I think it is. Good luck.
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