A
male
age
30-35,
*rendan
writes:I realli need advice.Ive been with my gf for 4 months now and we are very busy with final year of schooling, so we get like once or twice a week where we talk on the phone, and once to be together on the weekend.I find Im puttin all the effort into the relationship. She forgot our anniversary and when i called her she asked if she could go bcoz she had an assignment due next day. I sounded disheartened, but said it was ok then hung up. She msgs me few minutes later sayin shes reali sorry and asks that i forgive her, and she admits shes a bad gf but i need to uunderstand bout her schooling. Then said I love u, which means little given the circumstances. Is it unreasonable for me to have such a serious expectation of a relationship? I mean i really care for her, but Im wondering what its like for others in school/college and in relationships? Do u guys take it easy, becoz im not sure if im takin it all too seriously or in fact she is a shit gf.Please tell me bcoz this will affect how I speak to her next time. I am thinking about what does she expect of this relationship, and possibly ask her what she wants from me, and tell her what i want from her.Shes had trouble coping with school and stuff due to a serious relationship in her past, and i dont want to come across in the same category. I want to have a good time with her and fun, its not like i want to get married but I think I hsould ask her how she reali feels, and i should tell her straight if this isnt going to make you happy then we should break it off. This may also lead her to have a good hard think, bcoz Ive always been there for her and always wanting to be with her and the idea that I may finally crack may cause her to rethink things. In any case, what do you think I hsould do? Remember this is a 17 yr old girl whos into her schooling. Do i just need to pull back or talk?
View related questions:
anniversary, her past Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 May 2009):
 Hi Brendan,
I think that a) you must be coming to the end of your school year, so things MUST be getting crazy and b) you've only been together for 4 months. While that might feel like a long time (and it is a good chunk of time), it's really still a very, very new relationship.
So, because of those two things, I think that you are taking things a little seriously. I don't think it's time for the sit down "where is this relationship going" talk quite yet. If she likes being with you, she likes being with you - even when things are crazy and the schoolwork is piling up. I think that you can be an awesome boyfriend and score some real points by giving her a breather and when she says that she's loaded with HW, instead of getting upset that she's blowing you off, be understanding and chill until the homework is over.
And, about the fact that this is a new relationship - it really is. And, she's 17. If you guys are having fun together and like being together, stay together! You can ask her if she enjoys being with you, but I don't think that it would be fair to expect her to be in love and giving all of her emotional energy to you with your circumstance (being you're young, the relationship is young and school is bananas). Once the schoolwork is all over, then she can focus more on your relationship and building it more solidly. Summer is the time for love anyhow.
School will be over in a few weeks, and then you guys can really enjoy your relationship over the summer. But I'd give her a break until the homework is over. She's got to do her very best in school, because that is really what is more important right now. She should be happy to have such a great boyfriend to support her.
Alrighty, Brendan... let me know if I can help any more. Good luck!!!
A
male
reader, CGL0527  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 Relationships are about understanding. Just talk to her, be there for her like you always have. It's perfectly reasonable for her to do something like that because she is still in school. If you really care about her, then you shouldn't take something like that too seriously, I mean, she said she was sorry.
...............................
|
