A
female
age
51-59,
*ingerann
writes:they say the one that cares the least has the most power- is this true? Boy, am i in trouble. I care the most. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 yes i believe so. in relationships there is always one that cares less than the other so they can call the shots, knowing that the other one will do whatever they can to keep the relationship going coz they care so much. but for the one who cares least they have can feel more empty, miserable and bored even, while the one who cares more is happy and loving their time with the partner. i have thought about this before and i don't know if it is it is worse to be the one who loves more or the one who loves less!
you may love your partner slightly more than they love you but as long as they DO love, respect and need you then you should be ok, so just enjoy it
x
A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (16 June 2011):
 Yes
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 June 2011):
 i think so. totally.
the one that cares less has less to lose.
I kept telling my BF that thinking I was the one who cared more... he kept agreeing with me so I thought it was true.
Turns out I'm the powerful one here... he cares way more than thought he did...
it's hard to guard your heart.... hugs to you I hope it works out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011): Yes, in a sense but what idoneitagain has said is spot on; if you have your own sense of self all will be well. I too am usually the one who cares more and this has been really painful in the past as my self esteem was not strong, it was weak. I didnt like myself and I cared too much for my bfs as a way of compensating for the fact that I did not like myself. I'm a codependent and what works for me is not spending loads of time with my bf now and making sure I do other things - gym, see friends, other interests, focus on my job. That helps. Pull back abit, not so much that you become distance and you dont need to play games and become hard to get or any of that nonsense. It's about being genuine. I dont think the needy part of me is the real me, it's more something I learnt as a kid, and now I am unlearning it. You are the same age as me so if you identify with any of this it is time to change. Hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011): people who want and have the power are very insecure
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (16 June 2011):
 absolutely, yes.
...............................
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (16 June 2011):
That depends on how far your care reaches. If you care the most but your care only extends to him, then he will have the most power. If you care the most, but you care about yourself as much as you care about him, you have the most power.
People can only use this power to manipulate others if those people don't care enough about themselves. If you care about yourself as much as you care about your partner, you are not in trouble. If you don't, if you are really good at understanding what he needs but not good at understanding what you need and respecting that, that is where trouble can start.
Don't love yourself any less than you love anyone else, this is the road to a successful life. It can take a long time to learn what it means to love yourself, and how to do it in a relationship when you have to think of others too, but you will find the right balance for you.
...............................
|
