A
female
age
30-35,
*weetTenay
writes:is it true that most men need to sleep with various women? is it possible for a man to "love" a woman but cheat on her constantly and it mean nothing? when men say "its just sex" is there really a connection. Is this true or just intended to make it (sound) ok to cheat. for i feel when you find the one you love thoughts of being with someone else would never even exist. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Devil Crazy  +, writes (13 December 2007):
 Hi SweetTenay,
Well not all guys are like that, although a lot are. You have to be careful about the guys you date or have a relationship though, scrutinize him carefully before making a decision. But it is great to know that you are an intelligent girl who knows how to question things. =) Keep it up!
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (30 November 2007):
That's the most stupid excuse i've ever heard in my life.It's like saying since i own a car,let me drive over the cliff.Men are made to love,just like women are and infedelity is a choice most men make.So please the next time you hear that even from your man,tell him to shape up and be a real man or shape out.A real man is faithful to his partner but let me confess as a man in a very steady relationship.There's always the temptation to cheat but what you do about it is what matters.For a guy who thinks like that,it's an automatic response to cheat.For me a rational thinker,i'd seriously give it thought and always end up doing what she would like me do even if she's far.The bottom line is that we are all different and have different convictions and principles but there's no such thing as it being normal for men to sleep around.I must also confess thatthe reason that most guys sleep around is because you quickly and freely give sex,even if you've known the guy for a day.I wonder which comes 1st sex or love.Take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): Speak for yourself SamuraiRick.
Frankly, every person is different. There are many women out there who view sex as meaningless and purely physical- the way men tend to. There are also many men out there who view sex as something sacred and emotional and to be shared only with their significant others.
I am one of those men so I know for sure that we exist.
Don't put up with cheating behavior. Even if he can't control his BRAIN he CAN control his BODY. No man is so stupid that he can't resist a temptation- every man CHOSES to have sex with every woman he has sex with (excluding rape of course).
I have been with my SO for 5 years and I have never even come close to straying. She is the most beautiful woman I could ever hope to meet so there is no point playing the field. In my opinion, if a man is emotionally, intellectually and sexually satisfied by his partner then he will not think of cheating on her.
Perhaps your man wasn't getting his needs met but do not blame yourself because like I said, he CHOSE his actions.
...............................
A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (30 November 2007):
 My dear, you I will try to be frank and upfront with you. The subject of the difference between men and woman happens to be one I have discussed and argued about for years. Instead of trying to talk nice to you I will give you a window on how men think. Some of it’s not going to be pretty.
I will tell you what I always say on the subject men and women are different… It’s easy to see we are different on the outside. But what we are so very, very different on the inside. We think differently. Somehow our male brains do not connect things the same way they do for women.
No offense, but I think most men know this more than women do. The reason I say this is that so many women think they can make us change our minds, and think like them, so easily. Whereas most men do not try to make women think like them and are perfectly ok with women the way they are.
The very last line in your question illustrates your assumption that because YOU believe that once you find that one special person, the mere thought of being with another should never exist. Please do not be offended when I say this but only a female would say that. Because you don’t know how men think you have no idea what and how we think.
Yes, I hate to tell you this, but men, most men do not just think of just ONE woman to compliment them as objects of love. Even we men in that one great relationship with our ONE woman, we have thoughts of others, and our minds and eyes stray to other women, even if we are totally faithful to our women. I’m not here to defend men who cheat, or men who are just rude with the women they are with by craning their necks to see another pretty gal across the room. But what I am saying is this: men really do crave variety and volume when it comes to women. It is what we crave, but not what we should necessarily act on. Men, moral men, are taught to control these thoughts, so that our relationships with the women we love stay strong. Then there are the other men who do not know control and can never be with just one woman….Hugh Hefner comes to mind, who has lived a lifetime, reaching a point where he now has three willing girlfriends….a harem if you will. But believe it or not there is a common denominator with most men (I do not count gay men)…..men love women. We just like looking at women because they are nice to look at! If we could get away with it we would want more not less women in our lives.
But we live in a society where monogamy is valued, and harems and multiple wives are generally frowned upon. So the idea of one partner for life is the ideal. But really, this only happens in fairy tales that girls grow up with and love, and generally not in real life. Why is it you never hear of Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty having dated more than one guy? And it so happens the ONE guy they meet is the guy they marry and live happily ever after with. (But you will notice that prince Charming dated and danced with a lot of girls before landing Cinderella)
You like shoes don’t you? What if you walked in to a shoe store and can only pick one pair of shoes and you were told: You can only wear those pair of shoes and only those pair for life. That would be impossible to ask wouldn’t it? How can you just have one pair of shoes for every occasion? No women would bear that…..hell even Cinderella had more than one pair! Yes, shoes and relationships are entirely different things, but all I am trying to do is clue you in to how men think about women.
I have often said this, and I will repeat it again: Men are pigs! It’s true. But it is how we are made. The more women accept our way of thinking the more we can get along in life.
Peace out!
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 November 2007):
 Hi there,
oh dear, I'm sorry but you have got a cheating scumbag on your hands. I assume you are asking this question as a boyfriend has told you this?
In any event, a guy can treat sex as just sex, a physical event with a grand finale, and no emotional attachments afterwards. But only on a one night stand basis as a single man.
But a guy who is in a relationship saying this is just a cheating lying scumbag. No question.
If I cheated on my wife I wouldnt be able to look her in the eye, let alone pretend it was just sex and had no meaning. I have committed myself to my partner and the love between us is exclusive. I dont seek the comfort of other woman nor would I ever imagine a bit of one of sex with a stranger will ever match what I share with my wife.
The man you are referring to is a shallow insecure jerk, who needs to get reassurance for his pathetic insecurities by bedding as many woman as he can.
If you are seeing this man, you should dump him. If you dont then make sure you get yourself checked out at a clinic regularly as you dont know who he is having sex with. Your health is at risk here, both mental and physical.
...............................
A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (29 November 2007):
 I never get steady relationships so I usually get shafted and have to try hooking up with different people every weekend.
I'd give that up any second for a steady relationship with just one person.
Guys don't have to have more than one parter, any guy who tells you that is using you for sex and nothing more.
...............................
|
