A
male
age
30-35,
*h1p01
writes:So im back..again. I know someone is going to tell me that if I have to ask, then I don't, or am not ready. But I have to ask because I want to know, mostly from the lady folk, what you think she wants, and what she thinks. So me and my gal had an amazing weekend. We hung out, got a bit physically closer and comfortable with each other (base #2.5), she hung out with my family and had dinner with my grams. Basically it was perfect. I am asking if 1) Is 3 months too early for 'I love you' and 2) Does she want to say it/ hear it? I honestly feel as though I love this girl. I have said it to one other, but in retrospect, that was a lie. That whole relationship was messy and anything but healthy or full of love. The only way I can explain how my gal now makes me feel is love. I cant get enough of her (not physically). Just her smile lights up my world. I have almost said it a few times, but stopped myself because I have always heard that there are rules for that kind of statement. Second. We where in her dorm and where holding on to each other and kissing and she let me get a little frisky, but not too much. She was holding onto me and looking at me not like she wanted my body, but rather in a way that made me feel that she wanted to be emotionally close and connected. That we where not just two college kids in a dorm, but rather two people who have found a best friend in each other and an emotional pair. We play this game where we always try to do each other one better ( like: I miss you, then ill say I miss you more, and she will say No I do you can miss me as much). She kept saying "guess what! I really really really like you" and I would say it back, but it was almost like she was daring me to do her one better.Also, I dont feel comfortable with letting our relationship get any more physical till I tell her that I do love her (no I am not going to use it to get lucky, I really do mean it). So. Does it sound like its something she wanted to hear? Should I wait a little longer before I spill my guts to her?
View related questions:
best friend, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 She might want to hear it, but do yourself and her a favour to and don't misuse the word. If you say it without meaning it it's not important any longer. It should only be said when you KNOW deep in your heart and soul and body, that you do lover her.
Before you say it to her, I want you to talk to her about love, and what it means to the two of you. Maybe she has a different idea about what love is. And maybe you are just in love, feeling tingling sensations when you see her, but actually loving her could be a whole other matter.
You need to know yourself before you can say that you love anyone. Love is a strong feeling that is based in who the person is, and NOT based in how that person makes you feel or what that person does, how that person looks, or anything else. If you love someone you love them for being them, and you love them even if they hate you in return, and you love them even if they are mean to you. Love is unconditional. You don't love "if they love you back" or "if they treat you nice". You love because you love. Regardless of anything. Love is an end in itself, love is not a means to get anywhere.
I've said "I love you" after 3 months. I've said it before a relationship started too, and I've said it later in a relationship as well. It doesn't matter really when you say it as long as it is true.
Don't say it just because your girlfriend wants to hear it. I have a friend whos boyfriend rarely if ever told her he loves her, because to him "I love you" was so strong you should only say it after you are married. Now that's a bit extreme. But it's foolish to say "I love you I love you" just for the sake of saying it when you aren't feeling the intensity of the feeling in yourself. I vote against saying it at the end of phone calls for example, or saying it as a habitual phrase, like you say "hi" or "bye". Say it only when you mean it. Never at any other times.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 Just say it... but do it when you're in another "emotionally connected" moment.
Its not too soon.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 October 2011):
 you asked two questions: "1) Is 3 months too early for 'I love you' and 2) Does she want to say it/ hear it?"
1. if you feel it then say it. it's a risk but it's often worth it
2. does she want to say it? NONE of us know... clearly not even you know this... does she want to hear it? maybe.... again only she knows this.
IF you feel it then you should say it.
BUT if you say it and she says "thank you" and not "Oh I love you too!" will you be crushed? will you be sad? will you be destroyed??
My boyfriend is way older than you and cannot manage I love you.... it's words that rarely trip off his tongue.
When I realized I loved him and I told him (the first time I could not even say it and I said "damn you to hell" and yet he knew what I meant...
the first time I said "I love you" he said "thank you" and even last night after a year together and I said "I really do love you" and he said "thank you"... and yet he loves me... he just can't say it. but he SHOWS ME.... and that's ok...
when you feel the urge and the time is right and you are willing to take the risk you will say it.
good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (25 October 2011):
If it's coming from the heart, it's not too soon and she will want to hear it. I think after three months any girl would be very pleased to hear that her smile lights up your world!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): aww. if u feel ready then i think it's time. just wait for the right moment, when you really feel emotionally close to her. i'm sure she loves you too. what you two have sounds great. i'm really happy for you!
...............................
A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (25 October 2011):
I was sitting in bed with my gf just laying and looked into her eyes and said I love u around 3 moths and she said it back. Like if u can tell she is really into u and stuff she will say it back. I think girls like to hear it from the guy first. Probably shouldnt analyze it too much I mean one day u two will just be talking or something and it will just come out. Dont worry about it. and dont rush into you relationship. slow and steady.
...............................
|
