A
female
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*hazx
writes:Helloi wrote in before about my friend not helping me in my time or need (i was raped n needed her to go to court but she wont)anyways like i met this guy i fancy and he gave me his number today and said can he take me out for dinner soon he is a bit older than me but not much but it might look like alot anyway is it to soon to date him (i have never had a real date)i dont want people to think that i am a slag because i aint.please help me i need some advice on what to dothanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (17 September 2006):
 Ok, good, he didn't freak out like some guys would. Some guys are like, "Ugh, she's second hand meat!" .;
Well then, I hope everything else is smooth sailing for you guys! Good luck with everything, and if you're ever in a slump, feel free to send me a messege. ^_^
Good luck!
A
female
reader, chazx +, writes (16 September 2006):
chazx is verified as being by the original poster of the question yea i have told him what has happened and i told him that wen we first met trust between us is very strong i love him n he loves me i trust him with my lif3e thank you all for the help chaz x
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A
female
reader, Amethyst +, writes (16 September 2006):
I've never liked councellors, they're in it for the money is my opinon... and they don't keep stuff confidential like they should. (They always hint to children's parents, if not tell them directly.)
I'm glad to see you two are working out then!
Just try not to freak out, and everything should go alright, you already stated you two are patient people (always a good thing!).
Just one last question, then I'll leave you with merely a good luck wish, have you told him about what happened to you?
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female
reader, chazx +, writes (27 August 2006):
chazx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello and thanks for all the answers but i do not have a councellor or anything like that because i dont need that sort of support because i feel it is very pointless i have had councelors for most of my life and i cant take any more they do my head in.plus the date went great and i am now seeing him every chance we get (college and he works so hard to get time) but we are both very patient people and will wait but my parents have a problem with him (because of the age) so they very weary just in case anything happens they are very worried about me but i know and trust my bf abut i do freak out sometimes but thanks for all the advice and anything else people wanna say ill listen.chazx x x
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female
reader, Amethyst +, writes (10 August 2006):
There isn't a set amount of time that you should be skeptical of trusting guys. It depends on the person, so in other words, if you feel like you're ready to move on from your traumatic experience, then don't worry about what other people think. Being raped is something that scars people for life, and some people are afraid of relationships for years after being raped. But on the other hand, some may move on within a year. If you're scared that he's going to end up raping you too, then yes. I'd say it is too soon. But if that has barely ever popped up in your head, then maybe you're ready! If you think you'll freak out and break down if he tries to give you a hug, then you need to continue getting therapy and trying to move past your problem before even considering trying a relationship.
I also think it's a wise idea to ask your therapist. He/She will be able to ask you the questions that are essential to knowing whether you're truly ready to move on.
Also, I am in no way saying being scared isn't normal! But if it's still an overwhelming fear, then it's not a wise choice to move so fast. That's all I was saying.
Good luck, and you can always message me if you ever want to have a one-on-one discussion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): What has your psychologist suggested?
You need to be in some counseling to address your trauma with the rape and the effects it has on your self image and self worth.
That you are afraid that someone might view you as a "slag" speaks to me that you are still unsure of how to
move on in life after experiencing such a traumatic event in your life.
I say discuss any issues or concerns with your counsellor as he/she is a trained and qualified professional that is more able to offer you good and sound advice. They are the proper authority to seek out on such matters.
Good luck Sweetie and I hope you the best.
*hugs*
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