A
female
age
41-50,
*urtdeep1
writes:i'm 28 years old. i think i got myself into a situation. the person i married isn't very loving, very selfish and complains when he actually has to do something for someone that is sick, me. i am so mad at myself for putting myself into this situation. like tonight, for example. i am feeling extremely ill and i think i might have a little case of food poisoning. so, i asked him to please look up symptoms on line and see what i should do in order to keep from feeling ill. his reply.....sighing and acting as if i was interrupting a HUGE important part of his day...what was he doing?? playing with sounds and stupid little iphone updates. this doesnt show me he loves me. this is a sign of someone that couldn't care less about me. and, im wondering why i am wasting my time? seriously, why be here with someone that signs and gets annoyed at me for feeling ill and asking for help when i can have someone a lot more amazing in my life that actually gives a damn???? and im supposed to be getting officially married to this guy in september...is it too late to call the wedding off????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): Hello- The best he will ever "be" , best he will ever "look" , best he will ever "act" is in the pre - buy period (i.e. the engagement). It doesn't sound like he will have an epiphany at the alter and change his ways 180 degrees.
I would cut my losses. However, if you unsure about calling off the weeding- extend the wedding date and let him know why you are extending because you are giving him a chance to "wake up" and love you and be kind to through thick and thin, wellness and illness, etc. And, even if you are at the actual alter and are not 100% sure that he his the one you want to be with- walk out. That anguish and embarrassment will pail in comparison to making the wrong decision and suffering unhappily or going through a divorce.
I am no expert but I have been married over 20 years to the woman of my dreams and I never fail to treat her as such. Ever.
Good Luck
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 July 2010):
Call it off now. Better you call it off now than marry him ten divorce him and realized you wasted years of your life and a lot of money for no good reason. Get away from him.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (15 July 2010):
 No, it's not too late to call off the wedding (it's never 'too late' until it's actually over and done with). You might want to evaluate your reasons for doing so, though. What you've given isn't too much to go on. I assume if you're engaged to him, you had reasons to love him at some point of time. Has the indifference completely wiped out those feelings?
Whatever decision you take, it will be something you will think about for a long, long time. Make sure it's for the right reasons.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (15 July 2010):
 NOPE NOT TOO LATE AT ALL!!I'm your age and was in a similar situation. My boyfriend of 8 years was very impatient with me, he'd rush me through stores, he'd make me wait hours for him, he'd get annoyed when he had to do little things for me, it was all about him - he wouldn't even take me out on dates!...it was just stupid. ONE BIG headache - I was mistreated, but didn't think there would be anyone else out there for me.That is, until year 8 when he flew to Vegas with his friends on Valentines rather than visit me. That was the END, I had enough and left him. Two weeks later I met the best man EVER...2 years later and he still surprises me with icecream, wakes up morning and runs to walmart to pick up aloe vera and creams me (without me even asking him), makes lunches for me, fixes things for me, listens/talks...even when I don't want to do something that I know is the right thing for me (eg. go to the doctor) he discusses his issue with me and then takes me. He gets worried and his actions speak loud and clear...he really really loves me.NOW, what I learned from my dating experience is that there is NO reason why we should settle! It sounds like this is a continuing problem - he sounds immature and selfish. If it truly is a problem and you are not valued and treated like a princess please make the smart decision for yourself. Things like this do not improve over the long run.Don't settle for anything but being treated like gold. hugs.
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