A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Lately I feel like he's been turning into a complete asshole and I feel like I'm just being tossed aside. It first started when I had asked him to spend 4th of July weekend with me from Thursday to Sunday. I had asked him this months in advance, probably around the beginning of May. When Thursday rolls around and its later in the day he texts me saying that he wasn't going to come over because he "didn't feel like it." I was kinda surprised because he usually never acts like that. I told him how I felt about it and reminded him that I had asked him almost two months ago to stay with me but he just kept saying no.A few weeks ago we were spending time together and he got a call from his friend who needed him to drop him off somewhere. So, my boyfriend took me home and told me he'd come get me as soon as he got back. Well... 8 hours later he texts me saying "Sorry I just got home and my phone died." I was pretty upset because he told me he was just going to drop his friend off and come back. I have no problem when my boyfriend hangs out with his friends but when he tells me he's just going to drop them off then take 8 hours then I have a problem. If he had just told me he was going to hangout with his friend then that would have been fine.Something that also bothers me is that even after 3 years I have to ask to spend time with him which I feel like I shouldn't have to do seeing as I feel like I'm entitled to at least some of his time. Not to mention it makes me feel unwanted when I'm the one who's making most of the effort to spend time together. Is still having to ask to spend time with your boyfriend after 3 years of being together normal?I was also using his computer the other day and stumbled across a few pictures of a naked girl he knows. I'm not too worried about it and I don't mind him having them but what bothers me is that when I asked him about it he came up with the excuse "I didn't download it on purpose, it automatically downloaded onto my computer when I clicked on it on facebook." which I know doesn't happen. I told him I wasn't going to be angry and that it didn't really bother me but he kept insisting that facebook automatically downloaded the pictures. I don't have a problem with him having the pictures but telling me lies upsets me.Now this I might just be over thinking but he just recently started using his skype which he hasn't used in over a year. When I casually asked him why he was on skype he replied with "I don't know, it automatically logged me in." Which I know isn't true seeing as I'll use his computer whenever I'm over at his place and it has never once auto logged into his account. He kept telling me he wasn't using it, that he had started up skype but then left but I know that if he wasn't using it, he wouldn't have kept it open even when he came back and was supposedly going to bed. Like I said, I may just be over thinking this but it just seems odd that he would start up skype for the first time in over a year and then claim he wasn't doing anything on it.I've talked with my boyfriend about all of these things, I've told him how they make me feel but he just gets angry and never wants to cooperate with me and work things out and just ends up shoving me, my feelings and problems aside. He says that all of these problems are, pardon my language, "bullshit" and then calls me selfish among other things. I guess I just need advice on how to get my boyfriend to cooperate with me and work things out instead of just getting angry. Is it really unreasonable for me to be upset by these things? I just need advice on everything really.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 July 2014):
 I'm so sorry to be the bearer of bad news hon, but he's just not that into you.
STOP rowing this relationship boat... he's got at least one girl on the side and he's lying to you (badly I might add) to try to cover it up.
Do not call him... wait to see how long it takes for him to call you...
Do NOT ask to see him when he does call... wait for him to ask to see you... and when you do see him:
do not spend any money on him
do not have sexual contact with him
do not cook for him, clean for him or do his laundry.
see how long it lasts with those rules.....
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 July 2014):
 Connect the dots .... his computer has been invaded by an alien being which causes it to do odd stuff, like downloading pictures and automatically starting up Skype.
Seriously though, I think the time for him to cooperate in getting the relationship back on track is well and truly over, and that its time for you to pack up your love and your care and move on out of the relationship.
You are not high on his list of priorities, he lies about naked pictures of girls he knows and he makes stupid claims about Skype.
If he isn't already cheating he is thinking about it.
Don't put yourself through any more pain or hurt, pick up your purse and walk away. He just isn't worth your time or effort.
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