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male
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my gf for 1 year now. I don't feel as though I love her anymore. We don't spend time with each other. We don't trust each other but yet I don't want to lose her. I feel as though I don't love her anymore, but I couldnt bear to lose her. She says she loves me, and I know she would be heartbroken if we split up. Please help. I don't know what to do =(=(=( Thanks.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 October 2005):
 You've wasted enough time in this deadend relationship. Move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2005): You are stuck in the habit of her being part of your life if you dont love her then do you both a favour and leave the relationship before anyone gets anymore hurt by this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2005): If the feelings aren't there anymore, then I'm sure it was just infatuation. You wanted a relationship at the time when you started, but do you want one now? If there's no feelings of love then what's holding you together? A friendship maybe, knowing it's been a year and love is disappearing then I'm sure it's not love at all. And if I was her, I'm sure I would notice. If not let her know because it's a selfish act to lead her on and her saying, "I love you" and not recieving the feeling back. There are other guys that will love her. so let her go and bite the bullet. She'll appreciate it later, once she does find someone else. If those words scare you, remember why you're thinking of breaking up in the first place.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2005): Go over the issues that you have about her. If you don't feel the same about her, then break up with her. You don't need to stay just because you're afraid of breaking her heart. The earlier you do it, the less painful it will be for her.
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female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (9 October 2005):
The answer is, does she love you any more? Get together and talk about it. Ask her if she loves you any more and communicate. Tell her your feelings towards her and work things out, it will be hard if you split up, especailly after a year but you can't stay with someone if you do't love them. There's other good people out there you know.
Kay-the-Cloud
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2005): Alright my friend you are in a hard spot to be in. I have been in your spot before. I know how it feels to not want to lose the person that you are with. However if you say that you love here any more, well there is two things that you could do. 1: is to back off a little bit just interact as though you both were merely dating and not in love. When you hang up the phone, don’t say "I love you" and see how it feels. 2: Get out of that depressing state of mind and separate. I know from personal experience that after being together with some one for so long that you seem to get into a certain habit or routine. Break that routine. Fear of not having some one is not that same as saying I still want to be with some one. My advice is to get out and move on. You have lost nothing if you do. If you stay you find most likely that you will keep feeling like you don’t love here and more exhausting emotions will take over. That could be very unhealthy for both of you.
Sincerely,
NIK
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reader, helpfull girl +, writes (9 October 2005):
well if you dont want to lose her there must be a little love comeing from you. try and work on things gain each others trust back, it easy to gain trust back the way i gain trust is trying to cop my feller out with some one then being proved wrong adventually after doeing that a few times my trust just builds up! you do love each other loads but because theres so many bad things happening its hard to see! make time with each other sort your days out like days together days away for now make sure you have more days together than away so you can work on things! you obvously dont want to lose each other so to prevent that happening you must indeed work on things. good luck chuck.
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