A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey agony aunts and uncles.. im warning you this might be a little long, so i apologise in advance!basically, iv been with my boyfriend *ash* for just over a month now. hes my first serious boyfriend, my first everything, if you catch my meaning. hes lovely, hes smart, funny, handsome, fun to be around, hes caring and mature.. hes great. but im beginning to think that the "serious relationship" thing isnt really for me.. im getting bored. already! and i feel awful saying that, because hes so amazing and i love him very much. i knew him and liked him a while before we officially got together so my feelings for him are very strong... but theres this other guy. this is where he comes in.. lets call him *tony*. im not sure if im just feeling this way about *ash* because theres a new guy thats caught my attention.. you know sometimes when theres someone else you feel a change and its exciting, and its like you want them because you cant have them.. you like the chase maybe. we flirt alot alot alot.. and text almost everyday. NOTHING dirty or anything, just general conversation. but we feel that mutual want for each other.. iv never let it onto him because i love *ash* and would never want to hurt him, but i think he can tell. and im beginning to look forward to seeing this other guy *tony* more so than *ash* and im wondering, am i not supposed to be with *ash*? surely if you truley are in love with someone, its them that your supposed to be thinking about all the time, want to be with all the time. but at the moment, its more *tony* that im thinking about. im very confused... how can i differentiate between whether its just me enjoying the chase or if its the fact that i dont belong with my boyfriend like i thought i did? please help me. thanks!
View related questions:
flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 March 2010):
Simply out, Ash isn't the one. This is your first relationship, and it's only been a month and you are already feeling this way. That's a bad sign. Best to end it now and focus on yourself until you are ready to commit to someone.
A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Well...First of all...I want to say whatever you do, don't go for "tony" while you're still with "ash". It's any easy mistake to make even if that was never your intention. That aside, I'm thinking that if you really loved "ash", you would not be chasing after "tony". Maybe it's the idea of "ash" that you really love? You think he's "lovely, hes smart, funny, handsome, fun to be around, hes caring and mature.." Maybe you just feel like you SHOULD love him. Are you maybe trying too hard? But remember also that once people get past that "spark" in the beginning of a relationship, love becomes a choice. We choose to love the ones we do and we choose to work out our problems. Maybe you're just getting over the "spark". That doesn't necessarily mean you should move on. Wait things out a while and stop contacting this "tony" guy. If "ash" found out, he'd probably be heart broken. It sounds like you have a lot of thinking to do. Don't jump into things without really thinking about it. It would really suck to lose your current boyfriend over someone you only have a crush on. A crush is exciting, but not as rewarding as love. Good luck.
...............................
|
