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female
,
anonymous
writes: Is it realistic the think a guy is attracted to you if he nervously avoids you in public, but is warm and close in private. Avoids being seen with you outside to the point that he almost falls over himself backwards, yet lingers with you if he is on his own. We are both at the end of relationships, yet he says he is lonely but still loves and misses his ex who left him. I have worked with him for 2 years and from the start seemed to be comfortable in each others space, yet customers often ask if we are married, or say we act as if we are married just by the way we banter with each other, yet I cannot understand why he acts as if I am a hot coal he is standing on and why do other co-workers look and smile at us as if they are enjoying a show, yet his two closest women workers of over 10 years seem to resent me and never talk to me, yet I have never done anything against them or mean any harm. I really like him but since I work with him and he is senior to me, I am afraid of making a fool of myslef, yet do not want to miss an apportunity of being with someone I thoroughly enjoy the company of. I just seem to get such mixed signals from him. I can understand he still has feelings for his ex, but I would like to be his close friend for the time being as I am lonely too. I am interested to know is a guy can run away when inside he really wants to try being closer, or am I reading more into this because of my own feelings?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (3 November 2006):
If he is nervous in your presence when others are around then I'd say YES, he is attracted to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): A couple of things come to mind: first, he is not over his ex. Its good that he is being cautious about getting more involved with you. You wouldn't want to be his "rebound" would you?
Secondly, you have just ended a relationship yourself. Maybe you are completely over it and ready to move on.
There isn't really any time-frame for getting over an ex. In his case, SHE was the one who left him, and that is bound to be hurtful to his feelings and to his pride.
The other thing is that you work at the same place and he is senior to you. That is hardly ideal. Just think: what if you and he DID get more involved and then it went sour? It would hardly make for a pleasant work situation with some negative feelings simmering in the event of another breakup. He may well like being friendly with you, but in your place, you might want to think about lowering your expectations, given all the circumstances.
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