A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:MOD NOTE: This has been submitted in a very similar way the other day...recently went on a first date with a guy that is seems so awesome. He's funny, sweet, handsome and fun. I think he had a great time with me and even texted me after the date saying that he had a blast. After the date was over, I was feeling a little tipsy and shot him a text I wish I never sent. It was embarrassing. I basically sent him a text saying, "I noticed you touched my butt a couple times, so if you're looking for a hookup, I don't want that." In hindsight, I wish I thought about it before sending it. I look back and realize that he wasn't a guy that just wanted to hookup, but was just a nice guy who was kinda clueless and maybe a little excited. He never texted/called me again. It's been like 5 days and he blocked me on facebook when we werent even friends, which means he probably thinks i'm psycho because of that. I've been beating myself up over this mistake for the past 5 days and feel like I blew it with a guy that I could have potentially had a great relationship with.I understand that you learn out of every mistake, but that still doesn't take the pain away from losing a chance at a great love. I don't come across very many guys that I like enough to date and when this guy came along, I blew it.So my question is: Can you really blow your chances if it's the right guy? Do you think that I blew it with someone that could have been the right one for me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your answers!! :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2016): No,this was not the correct guy for you and you would not have had a blast.He cannot communicate with you in a manner that agrees with you.He has a different standard to you.He touched your butt all night because he was hoping you would be so hyped up on him that he could makeout with you later, maybe he thought you were easy and his little taps on the butt were his way of starting to excite you into a reckless and thoughtless conquest on his part.No doubt you are very attractive and all future datees would also like to grab your beautilicious butt for the night, but you are also a smart cookie who does not suffer fools gladly and your genuine text shot his ego down.No this is not the correct guy for you.I think your motivation for sending the text was spot on.He was taking advantage of you by being too familiar in public and you rightfully gave him a knock back.Be grateful he took the hint.This guy is now off your radar and you will meet a more respectful guy.Mr.Butt -toucher- on- first -date is history and you will laugh at his stupid attempts to make you think he was the man for you.The only problem is that by allowing him to touch your butt you inadvertantly invested something off him in yourself, but dont worry this will pass.Very soon you will be glad that you got out off something that was never meant to be.Dont let him undermine your confidence any further.Ignore him.Block and delete and forget and thank the lucky stars you got away before he could upset you further.Believe me you will attract a true gentleman , not a first date butt toucher.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 February 2016):
 OK we all know you asked this question already and you got some really great answers. However, if you're still not convinced, here's another try.
No you did not blow your chances with this guy. If you're thinking that you made a mistake by telling this guy that he shouldn't have touched your butt then its entirely your choice. To each his own. If you're so desperate that you're open to allowing guys touch and tap your butt on the first date then well, its your choice again.
What exactly do you want us to tell you? What do you really even want to do? Call him and tell him that you're sorry? Again, the choice is yours.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 February 2016):
 "He was just a nice guy who was kinda clueless and maybe a little excited "- how do you know, OP ? You knew this guy since all of one week, - and through text.
Yours is a guess, but , in the light of his following actions ( to block you on Facebook ) is only as valid, less valid in fact, as another guess : he was only interested in closing a sexual deal in the shortest possible time, and when he saw you being difficult about his taking liberties, he decided that he did not want to have to sweat it for hooking up with you.
Why should he see you as a psycho ? He DID touch your butt during the date, didn't he ? It's not as if you are inventing lies , or seeing things which did not happen.
At most, he will have thought that you are a woman who does not like to have her butt touched on a first date.... while he prefers a woman who does not object to having her butt touched on a first date.
Which brings me to the most relevant point; you seem to be too concerned about what other people wants or thinks , and not enough about what yourself want or think.
Make up your mind : is it OK to touch your butt on a first date, or not ? Do you object to that , or not ?...
If you do object, who cares about his motivations , who cares if he's clueless or excited , that's his problem. In any case he'd be someone who crosses your boundaries, so obviously, not a good match for you and not the person you are looking for.
If you instead think that first date butt-touching is OK in certain instances (... when the guy looks really hot ?.... when you feel that you need to let him touch you to keep him interested ?.... ) then yes, it was a mistake , you should have kept your mouth shut. If you feel that you should not object to butt- pawing as long as it helps getting you a second date ,- then do not object. Simple, isn't it ?.
OP, you can't ever really know a stranger's mind. But you can , and should, your own.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 February 2016):
 So what did you learn?
And to answer your questions. "Can you really blow your chances if it's the right guy?" Yes, you can blow your chances. So can the guy.
"Do you think that I blew it with someone that could have been the right one for me?" No idea. All you and we know is that it was an uncomfortable date for you, and you were worried enough about things to send a specific "I'm not a hookup" message.
And I go back to, what did you learn from the situation? And if your answer involves wishful thinking or unproven fantasies, go back and think about things again.
Hope this helps.
:)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 February 2016):
 Did you not read the answers already given? Or are you looking for a specific answer?
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