A
female
age
36-40,
*ibbey
writes:Is it possible to find someone that will always be romantic? My boyfriend used to do romantic things for me and he doesn’t anymore. I like to be romanced, and by romanced I mean receiving small little gestures such as cuddling, unexpected kisses, random notes, and what not. What I’m asking is, could I find someone that will continue to be romantic without stopping? I find romance very important in a relationship. Thank you for your answers! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (8 November 2007):
 I have two friends who have been married 20 years. They're still sweet on each other. They were married in their early twenties.They've gone through some serious rough patches. They've decide to work on their marriage CONSTANTLY. And it's work. From what I've seen, relationships never stay the same -- they either go up or down. To keep it going up, you got to keep working on it.That said, I believe it's possible for someone to be romantic much of the time (not "always"). Even possible over time. But it takes work (from BOTH) to keep the relationship safe for romance.If you expect a man to always write you little notes, there's a lot you need to work on to make it fun for him to do it for you. And what you need to do will differ with who the guy is. Communication is key. Make sure you can always keep talking to the guy, no matter what. If your relationship is a safe place where either can say anything and still be loved, then you'll be one of the ones who are still sweet on each other after many years.Good luck.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 I would say yes. There are a few men who are like this by nature, but most have been trained over the course of their lifetime, being in different relationships, being married, divorced etc. they get the big 'aha' that this is how (most) women like to be treated. I suspect you're b/f is young and hasn't yet figured this out yet. Part of being in a relationship is about being trained on how the other person wants to be treated. God knows men train us all the time -- how to recognize when they're stressed out and not make demands on them; when they need their space, how to open conversations without annoying them etc.etc. If you love this guy, then work with him. And it'll probably take more than one conversation to help him understand your needs. So be patient. Good luck.
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