A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for two years now and love each together very much. I am 21 and she is 20, we are both graduating college soon and want to start a life together, but here the problem.She is very petite, at a little under 5 foot and I am about 6 foot tall. My penis is just under 9 inches long. We have been having sex for the past two years on a regular basis (once or twice a month at least, if not more) We can not have sex for more than about 4 minutes because she complains of irritation inside here vagina. Because of this she has become apprehensive of sex and is worried about staying together in fear of never having a fulfilling sex life.She thinks that my penis is just too big for her and that nothing will change. Our relationship is in danger no matter how much we want to be together because she thinks that sex should be something that she should always be able to do at any time and without any pain.I feel like my future is slipping away and that all of our plans are ruined. I do not want to be with anyone else and really want to fix this. Basically is it possible that we just are not physically compatible?Is there are solutions besides more lube?
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male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (23 February 2010):
 I had the same problem with the girl and then i bought a dildo and done it with that and it hurt her also so she desiceded to got to the doctor and it was problem of her not mine and about like 2 months we stated to sleep together again and in about 10 times she was totaly ok with my size . dont get your hopes down and more sex will help we did it 3-4 a week at least. The thing is more sex u have wider it gets.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Get her to relax. A womans vagina can expand to deliver a baby. It cannot be too small for a penis. There is a condition called vaginismus, where by a woman, fearing pain can tense up due to this reason. Sex therefore hurts. Look up www.vaginismus.com.There is a lot of bizarre information out there. I think stick with the facts, and work through it. The facts are 1. Her vagina cant be too small. 2. Work through it with lube, dilators, relaxing or whatever. 3. Dont listen to negative advice. God bless.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): I had the same issue with my wife. Believe it or not I saved myself for marriage, I'd done a heck of a lot so I was no monk, but left actual intercourse for the wife.
On the wedding night she just kinda went with it, but as the honeymoon progressed she told about the pain. It took time, but going slow... which in itself can be quite fun and having sex often... a lot more often than 2-3 times a month worked so that she can now accommodate my size which is just about equal to yours. The kicker is that if life gets busy, if we travel or just have work projects and stuff and don't have sex a few times a week, we have to start all over again.
There are far worse problems to have.
Take it slow when you get to the actual intercourse and maybe even take it slow leading up to the intercourse, I found that if I gave her a 15-30 minute massage before, it would drive her insane with lust, she’d be well lubricated, more relaxed and would have naturally opened up more.
Not to get too graphic, but sometimes I’d only use the first 2-3 inches slow/fast and she’d start orgasm in seconds and she seems to open up more after the first orgasm.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Did she have irritation before, when you guys first started having sex? What she needs to do is go to the doctors and get herself checked she might have infection that she does not know about. This similar thing happen to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): has she always had uncomfortable sex? it could be something worth having a doctor check into just in case. many women have that. try using plenty of lubricant. if she gets very irritated you could use a silicone based lubricant which is more lubricating and longer lasting than a water based one and is still safe with condoms. is she enjoying the sex? perhaps you may need to change your technique. also try working on her more before sex with oral and touching. ask her to show you and tell you what makes her feel good.
this can all be worked out! best of luck!
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A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (3 October 2008):
 I think she has to learn to relax. She's possibly tense and that in itself can cause it to be painful, along with the fact that you are definitely above average in size. The foreplay is a definite must, to help relax her and PLENTY of KY or something of the sort.
This so doesn't have to end what you two have together. Make a little extra effort to comfort her and help her enjoy making love. Talk with her to let her know you want her to be comfortable and that you will help in whatever way you can.
I'm sure you guys can work this out.
Good luck sweetie,
Michelle
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 The human vagina can deliver a baby. It is elastic and can shrink back down in order to accommodate a tampon. I'm thinking that you need to spend a bit MORE time having sex. The two of you need to be having sex 3 or 4 time a week, at least. You need to get used to each others needs and what your bodies want. I suggest a 3/4 times ration of foreplay to sex, so if you are actually having penetrative sex for 15 minutes, you should have been having foreplay for 3/4 of an hour before that, in order for her to be ready to accommodate you. I don't think that you are incompatible at all, you just need to hone your techniques a bit. ;-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): Maybe try different posistions and increase foreplay to relax her vagina.
A lot of men would kill to have your problem...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): Wow, The same thing happened to me and someone I was dating. I really really liked him but every time we had sex, no matter how many times, it hurt so bad he was just too big, and im not real petite, im 5'8 150, he's 6'3 200+ and in order for it no t to hurt so bad i would have to have a drink so i would not feel the pain as much. I had to stop dating him because I too felt that sex should be something intimate and enjoyed and not so uncomfortable and painful all the time and it's sad because he asked why and before i could answer he said is it because of my penis so this has happenend obviously alot for him. Well in your case it's different, you guys are a couple and love each other, Maybe she can try not tensing up or contracting her vagina muscles out of nervousness whenever you two are about to have sex or lube, maybe this will help and she'll open up more. Hope this helps, good luck!
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