A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I like this guy and he likes me (I am not sure if he likes me for me, or just for sex). I want a relationship with him, but he doesn't want a relationship right now. Is it possible for me to do stuff with him but not get hurt in the end if he doesn't want to be with me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Hi , hun. The chances of doing 'stuff' with this guy and not getting hurt are not good. Females do tend to invest more emotions much more quickly, with anything physical (sex). He likes you, yes...but not enough to do the hard work and make all the huge efforts to making you his one and only. So what does that tell you? He wants sex..nothing more. What is even more disturbing is you are considering it. Are you considering this, because you feel if you have 'sex' with him will make him want to date you more? Why would you even think this way? Don't be one of those girls who finds out too late just how horridly painful and self-defeating these types of situations are. Why? Because for a lot of girls 'sex does drive the heart'. Guys are wired differently. They can have sex...simply for the sake of having sex. That is why so many females walk away from these situations feeling despondent, emotionally wrung out, easy and used. And let's remember how serious the 'act of sex' is. Each time you have sex you have a certain probability of mothering a child, even with all the best protection, money and technology can buy. Are you old enough, mature enough to shoulder the responsibilities of having a baby. You may pay a big life-long emotional price for a few minutes of fun, with a guy that doesn't want to build a good quality relationship with you. C'mon, show this guy you have self-respect and tell him "it's all or nothing". If he doesn't want a relationship, then you choose...pals or not. Make that your choice based on your self-resoect and pride. . But....no sex! Now, go out and build a solid good love relationship with another great guy who wants to love and respect you back. This guy just ain't the one, hun. Always, always hold out for a committment and even at that, protect yourself. You don't jump in the sack right away. You scrutinize, you think hard, you make a decision based on what is good for 'you'. A wise woman always keeps your heart out of this and uses your head. She never acts 'grateful' that some guy likes her. Acting that desperate is what lands her in hot water. Some unthinking, manipulative guys will prey on females like this...so be smart. Think this through.
Good luck and choose wisely.
A
female
reader, Fasion victims  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 hello
We suggest that you get to know this guy better but act yourself around him. Find out about him. if he likes you you will automaticly tell things will just click. If he then trys anything on with you that you do like just say you want to wait. If he says he doesnt want to wait then you know he only wants you for one thing. I he does wait that means that he cares about you enough to wait untill YOUR ready not him. So be careful but in away give this guy a chance.
lots of love
fasion victims
xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): possible, but very unlikely.. bin there and done that babe, and it hurts more than anything posible, yew could get pregnant, then he will deny all knowledge of having slept with you and yew will be left alone without any support from the father! Its very rinsky if you do, but dont do it for him 2 lyk you becuase if he thinks he can get you 2 anything without having 2 give back he will think its okay and he dosent need 2 giv yew what yew want for him 2 get bak he wants.. Give and take is whats neededGood Luk Babe xxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 He takes and you gives and in the end what do you get? You give your youth , your time and your body. What do you get from him?
You get germs and you may get pregnant and then dumped.
You give all and get nothing in return. You are being exploited and used.When he dumps you , you will cry your heart out.. You would feel cheap , useless and dirty.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): yeah i guess but it is risky
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (12 January 2008):
No, it is not possible for you to 'do stuff with him'(as in have sex i guess you mean?) and not get hurt in the end if he doesnt want you.
You like him, and you have hope that he does or will have the same feelings for you. If you do stuff with him, then your need for him to return your feelings is going to increase dramatically. You would of went from likeing someone you know, to likeing someone you have slept with. For females in particular, having sex involves so many emotions, so sleeping with him, and risking the chance that to him its just sex is a hugeeeee risk. I dont think you shoudl take it. If he does like you for you, he will wait till you are in a relationship to sleep with you. But like you said, he doesnt want a relationship right now. In other words, it sounds like he wants to sleep around. If you sleep with him and spend lots of time wiht him, that doesnt mean he will realise how great you are and fall for you either. This is because he just wants sex...no matter how great of a potential gf comes along, to him it will mean nothing because he is just looking for somoene to fulfil his sexual desires.
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A
female
reader, always.you +, writes (12 January 2008):
 no you need to be strait forward with him and tell him how you feel and that you dont want to get hurt so he needs to decide if he wants to be with you or not.
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