A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, A few days ago, my boyfriend of 7 months told me that his feelings have changed over the last few weeks because i dont trust him, and it has eventually driven him away. He was about to break up with me, but we had a long conversation, and I promised I would try to stop making arguments and things, and we have stayed together. However, we are starting from new, trying to build something better than before. Really, I just wonder if this is going to work. I get the feeling he doesn't really want to see me, he has asked me round, and then when the day comes never contacts me until it is just a bit too late. However, it has only been a few days since we had the conversation. He did honestly seem like he wanted to try to make it work as much as I did, but what do you think? Is it possible for this to work and for him to get those feelings back? Should I just forget it, or should I see how it goes for the next few weeks? Personally, I really do want to try. I'm worried I'm just being paranoid and looking into this too deeply, which was the problem before! I haven't been contacting him unless he does first, as I feel like I don't want to push things, and that he should have some space, but he never said he wanted any. Am I just being silly in not contacting him? We are still going out after all, and in a relationship, I would never worry about contacting my boyfriend normally. I'm just worried that he doesn't want me to. Should I just text as I would normally anyway? I would be so grateful for any suggestions, Thank you.
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female
reader, Another_Kapiti +, writes (17 November 2009):
Firstly, I'd have to ask why you felt that you couldn't trust him before? Trying again, do you think you might feel that you have reasons not to trust him? Not being able to voice your opinion (in just trying to appease him, and not scare him away) is going to build up a lot of resentment on your part I suspect!
You aren't really going to get a straight answer unless you ask him, but don't feel that you need to walk on eggshells around him, that's hardly likely to build the trust and love that you obviously seek!
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