A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,I'm a straight female, 47, 3 adult children, single. I have experienced a lot where relationships are concerned but recently I find that I am falling in love with a gay man - we have everything but the sex. Its the most amazing relationship I've ever experienced; its fun - we sleep together when he visits me or when I visit him, nothing happens but there is sexual tension, eroticism, romance - that's how I'm reading it and Im sure its the same for him. I'm not sure if I want a sexual relationship with him, but would like to know where he is coming from.Thanks heaps if you can help me to understand this 'thing' we have I will be most grateful.My question........Is it possible for a gay man to feel anything other than friendship with a straight female? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for taking the time to respond, some of you know where I'm coming from, others not so - perhaps that is because of the way I posed my question. I have no intention of putting my life on hold waiting for him, I'm fully aware that there is no future in such a relationship and never contemplated 'husband and wife' boyfriend and girlfriend' - but in his words to a friend of ours "we are lovers and yes we are in a relationship, we just don't do the 'f' thing." And that is not an issue for me, I have straight men in my life and he has his sexual partners. I actually think that if we did have sex it would ruin everything else that is great about the relationship and I certainly don't want to lose that - we'll grow old together.
Just really wanted to know if he would be thinking/feeling as I am or coming from a completely different emotional/sexual place...from a gay male perspective.
...He has had a relationship with a woman some time ago...possibly why I think that he could be bi...
Thank you all, your answers are VERY much appreciated.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Probably not.
It's CONCEIVEABLE, the same way it is for you to have sexual feelings for a lesbian woman. It's possible, right? Never completely ruled out. But not really likely.
If you continue to love him in this way, you might end up ruining your love life and wanting someone forever who will never want you in the same way. You can be best frineds, yes. You can be closer than close. But lovers, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend... that you'll probably never be. And if you keep hanging out with him in hopes that it will turn into more, you'll be missing out on a real world filled with tons of eligible guys who WOULD be interested in a sexual, loving relationship with you.
Maybe to settle your mind down, you should tell him, "look. I know you're gay. If you weren't, I would want you so, so, so, so bad. So you need to help me get over you and on with my life."
If you're honest with him, I'll bet he can help you to get over it. Maybe he'll tell you straight up, "I'm sorry, I really don't feel that way about you. I love men! Maybe if you were a dude...". Or, if he's got deep seeded feelings for you, he'll tell you about them then.
That's what I'm thinking!
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): Well im gay myself.Most of my friends are female.I have sometimes slept in their beds when ive stopped over at theirs when i have visited them and not once have i had any sort of sexual desires for them.But like whats already been said if he is truelly gay or not,if hes gay then nothing will come of it but if he is bi or in denial then something may well happen but if so it wont be anything long lasting.
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A
female
reader, jae +, writes (15 February 2007):
Yes, gay men are capable of having sex with a woman and many do. Many gay men are married to women and have children! But don't fool yourself--when he meets THE ONE (male) he will leave you in a heartbeat.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 It's not possible unless they're not actually gay. All gay best friends are like this. You get everything you would get from a straight guy except the sex and it's all so much less complicated because of that fact so that you can enjoy the little things like the hugs and sleeping together etc but really, unless he has any bisexual tendencies he's just being a typical gay man and nothing more.
CD
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