A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ok so I'm a 26 year old single mom of three young kids. I've been seperated from my husband for a year and a half, we need to save money for a divorce. Anyways i jus met a 34 year old man about 2 weeks ago but only been talking for a week. i met him on my birthday at a bar/club. I am not sure if he normally dates younger women. i like the fact that he understands i have kids and can't text/talk every second of the day. i guess my question is, is it actually possible for him to be interested in me or just want to "hook up" with a younger woman?
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (18 April 2013):
I agree with what CindyCares says. 26 is fine for a 34 year old male. I know a lot of 30ish successful guys who date 20ish women. That said, I dont know a lot of 30ish successful guys who would want to deal with another mans three children. Just the way it is.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 April 2013):
POT KETTLE BLACK OP!
you were in a bar with your ex that alone would be enough to put anyone off on wanting to get to know you better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello all here is a quick update. i got my answer last night. my ex and i went out for a drink together, sometimes we still hang out. well as soon as i walked in to the bar i noticed the guy i have been talking to sitting there all over another girl. He noticed me right away and started laughing. I paid him no attention and enjoyed the night. while i was there he texted me "you look goodnight" and "and that was funny" i did not respond to him and haven't talked to him all day. I told my ex he was there and he started laughing and wanted to meet him but i said it wasn't worth it. He wasn't going to start drama, he just wanted to be an a$$. Well i did point him out and my ex was laughing and said i can do way better. All in all i know everything he was telling me was not genuine so I'm not gonna waste any more of my time on a bar hopper with an agenda. thank you all so very much for all the great advice :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 April 2013):
Then everything is under control :). Just proceed sensibly and prudently ... but also with a pinch of optimism , as you probably would do with any endeavour in life. Good luck !
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 April 2013):
OP sounds to me like you have it under control
You just had to get past the younger man older woman issue.
folks that are NOT older women do not get the societal pressure we as older women feel.... older men do not get it, as it's expected that women will be younger than their partners... but older women (esp if we are divorced and have younger children) are considered sometime wrong....
you are not wrong
he likes you
you like him
you want some adult time
you have a plan to keep your kids away from him until further notice
Not that it matters but
you have my blessing to carry on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to say thank you for all the advice its nice to hear what other people have to say. To miss CindyCares your words are very true. However, out of all the guys who have approached me since being single he is the only one who has talked to me outside of where we met, after i mentioned my children. oh yea and no worries I'm not trying to introduce my children to anyone anytime soon. i just need a little "me" time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): Hi - well it is entirely possible. However, you will only know if he is really interested in you, the person, if you don't sleep with him straight away. I'm not being rude just making you realise that you are in the driving seat with this one so enjoy it and see what happens. Take your time!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 April 2013):
You are not THAT younger . It would be a big deal if you were 16 and he 24, but now the age difference is really not relevant.
Pardon my brutality, but what may make him not want anything serious is not your age but your 3 ( I am sure, lovable and loved ) kids. Not many men in their 30s would be anxious to just step in a ready made family, but, alas , many would not have any particular objection to having a short fling with a young single mom and then taking French leave.
Anyway, you've only met him 2 weeks ago and been talking one, it's really too early to assume or predict anything. Proceed with extreme caution - but without paranoia, and see what unfolds. If it does not work , though, be sure it maybe for tons of reasons, the very last of which would be your age .
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A
female
reader, PatientMiss +, writes (12 April 2013):
Of course it's possible, age us not really an issue if there is an attraction there. But take it very slowly, bringing another man into the equation with your kids is a very important step. You need to make sure you think the new person is important enough and stable enough to introduce to them. You don't want to parade lots of men through their lives. My advice - tread slowly ... meet for a coffee, a walk in the park. And tie up your loose ends with your ex before moving to far with anyone else!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 April 2013):
Yeah sure it's possible.
When my husband was 26 I was 39....
the issue is that just because he's OLDER does not mean he's mature. It does not mean he's not just looking for fun and games... do not make the assumption that he's interested based on his age. He may very well just be interested in FWB...
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A
male
reader, Glacier +, writes (11 April 2013):
To answer your main question: sure he may be interested in you.
I'm 37 and currently interested in a woman who is around 24 (don't know her exact age yet).
I will never dismiss a woman upfront who is at least 21, because she might surprise me as being very mature and balanced.
I once spoke with a 16 yr old who was amazingly mature for her age. She was obviously an exception to what you can expect but it shows you that should never dismiss someone without having a decent conversation first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2013): Sure! Why not?
HOWEVER.... getting involved with a guy right now is really a bad idea. You have a lot ahead of you that you do not realize. What you need to be doing for a while is getting your life in order. It's going to take some time to adjust to being a single parent and for your children to adjust. Please don't bring another adult into their lives until you are sure they are going to stick around and are truly accepting of children being part of your package. Nothing wrong with going out and having some fun..just don't be careless or irresponsible.
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