A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm at my wit's end! I would really like to have a boyfriend, I have never been fortunate to connect with someone in that area. I don't walk around desperately trying to find a guy nor do I declare it a horrible night if I didn't meet a guy, I don't shy away from men when approached or mention my past horrible interactions with guys (which I know is a number one turn-off). I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've had sex before so I know at least I have the ablility to attract guys, however when I begin to hang out with the guy for a period of time (like three months I even was with one guy for 2yrs) whenever I bring up the idea of a relationship, they flee. The guy I had relations with for two years just stopped talking to me. I've yet to figure out why he just decided to never speak to me again after 2yrs! I've never in my life simply wanted to have a sexual relationship, and it's killing me that every single one of my friends has a boyfriend and I have nothing (I've never even been on a date). At first I had the attitude that there's someone for everyone it just takes some longer to find that person but now I give up! I'm beginning to believe that some people are just not meant to be in relationships. Is this possible, are there really people who are just not cut out to have a relationship?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 November 2009):
What comes accross here is that you're very worried that you'll be left alone. The point being, your post makes me a little nervous. Men can sense women who are worried that they will be alone, and get scared and run away. Relax! The right guy is out there for you. Focus on yourself, be happy for yourself before someone comes along. Get some hobbies where men will be. Start talking to them. The most important thing is that you come across as calm and in control of your life, and then just flutter your eyelids at the right moment. He is out there, just be patient and calm and you'll find him. But if you worry, of if your esteem is low, then the good ones will run and the bad ones will latch on.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 November 2009):
The initial problem I see is that your posting has contradictions. You say that you were "with a guy for two years," and another for three months, but state that you have "never even been on a date." Please explain how you could possibly have a boyfriend for two years or hang with another for three months and never have a date? In any case, you are very young and will certainly find a loving relationship. Going on a date might be a good start.
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