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Is it over before it really began??

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello,

Please help me. I have just been seeing a wicked guy for about a few weeks now. We have met up a few times and have discovered that we really get on. He used to text me all the time and we spoke on the phone for hours. He kept telling me how he wants to make me his and have a relationship with me. I used to reply that I really like him and we should see how things progress by meeting up etc.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we arranged to meet up but he didn`t call or text to say that he couldn`t make it although the next day he did say that he was sorry. I let him off and said that I don`t mind if he can`t make it but could he please just send me a text to tell me if it happens again.

We met up twice after that and things were going really well. Too well, if I`m honest. Then last week, he was meant to come to my house and I called him earlier on that day and he said that he was still coming. Time went by and when I called him again later, he was too drunk to stand, let alone talk!! I was annoyed at the time because I was all ready and looking forward to him coming. I then called him and he didn`t answer and then I sent him a text to say, thanks for letting me down again - you can forget everything now!

The next day, he sent a text to me that he was sorry that he didn`t make it - he was too drunk and that it wouldn`t have been fair on me if he came in that state and that he doesn`t blame me for binning him and for me to take care. I sent a text back (cos I was still annoyed) saying that he should find some other mug to muck about with. He then replied saying that he was really sorry. I text him and told him that someone else answered his phone on one of the times that I called him. That made him really angry and he called me to find out what the person had said to me etc. I told him and we chatted for about 5 minutes and he said that he had to go.

Since then, I have had no contact from him. I sent him a text yesterday and told him that I was sorry that I was annoyed with him on Saturday and that I may have been hasty in saying that he should forget everything. I also said that I would still like to see him and that if he is still interested, to give me a call. I then tried to call him and he didn`t pick up his phone and I have had no reply to the text.

I am well and truly gutted because I really would like to carry on seeng him and I hate the fact that he hasn`t replied and tried to sort things. Is it over before it really began??

Thank you.

View related questions: drunk, text

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A female reader, les United States +, writes (13 August 2008):

Honeygirl said it right, he is irresponsible. Also, at this age he's not an idiot, he knows what he's doing is wrong and probably doesn't care. When you get annoyed at him and then apologize for it.. this an obvious ploy on your part to keep him talking to you (whether you mean it to be or not) and no doubt that he knows that and that he can just come back and be really nice and apologize and he'll have you all over him again.

You deserve better than this and should stand up for yourself, but always by being civil instead of getting angry and upset. Next time he calls, if he calls, you can agree to meet him if he'll show up. Tell him you dont think its going anywhere, you find him to irresponsible, you're seeing someone else, you want to be friends. If he asks you to reconsider your decision, tell him you need to think about it.

If you really want this guys back, which is a big IF, your only shot with him is by picking his interest and playing hard to get. But like I said... don't you feel that deserve better than this despite some magical connection you have with him that he might or might not have with you?

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (13 August 2008):

Honeygirl agony auntSweetie, yes it sounds like he is irresponsible.... if he was so interested in you he wouldnt be missing dates! Sorry, but it does seem that it is over before it even started!

Honeygirl

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