A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im 27 and dating a 43 year old man? is that ok? i feel like all eyes are on me when we both go into public... what should i do?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 December 2008):
 With big age gaps you have to make sure you have looked at the big picture, what will your life be like 10 years from now, what about 20? Sometimes you have to give up things to be with an older man. Just make sure you both want the same things and have a clear idea what the future may hold.
A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (3 December 2008):
Age doesn't matter what matters is that you are happy. People can be mean and people act funny to anything that is different. If you know in your heart that he is right then look at him not people around you. You dont want to miss out on the man of your dreams because of someone else.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (3 December 2008):
 You are self concious about your choice in the man. You feel out of place dating someone who is much older but rest your worries when I say this. Back in times past when this type thing happened people would tend to view it as really odd and that you were looking for a Daddy figure or a Sugar Daddy. The man would be considered a pervert ,just a dirty old man,or a cradle robber, if you can grasp the terms.
Come out of the dark ages! It's quite acceptable to date someone who is older. You are more than Adult. If would be still looked upon in society as pretty much ill fated from the get go if you were dating someone that much older at 16 or 18. However you have to come to terms with this and decide that it's really what you want in a relationship to make it work. Then you have to realize that you must be totally grown up about the relationship and continue into it with a mature mindset.Just be prepared because most men and women alike who are older have more experience in general with life and other things. They could be more controlling but not necessarily so. It's possible that they will have children your age and this could pose a problem. This also may not be the situation. They could be looking for a PLAYTHING......however they could just be looking for LOVE. You have to take things day by day and play it all by ear. 8-)
If all eyes are on you it might be the fact that someone is jealous of you! If it's not and they are looking, just SMILE and Be graceful and charming. Overlook what others think and do your best to make your date feel as respected and admired as you wish to be. You will probably find that most people aren't really looking because of the age difference and for the most of the population, they don't really care! As for the thoughts of others, you must be more concerned about what you and your date thinks of yourselves and one another. And after all he isn't even twice your age! *-)
*Just a note....be sure that before you get to involved that you know he isn't married because sometimes people who are much older already have a spouse yet this isn't always the case. If you two like one another and have admiration and respect along with good communication, I say go for it and take you time. Have fun and know that God has his watchful eyes on you. Don't worry about anyone elses!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (3 December 2008):
 It's fine if you and he are both fine with it, and have similar priorities aligned similarly (i.e. you're on the same page about your career vs. having kids, etc.) You are both adults and if you make one another happy, that's the only approval you need. Ignore the people who judge you for this and enjoy your relationship.
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A
female
reader, NoTHiiNg ReAlLy +, writes (3 December 2008):
age is not the matter here at all... honestly, it doesnt matter if you are dating a 43 year old... and if you are falling for him, and him you hopefully, then it should not matter who is looking or judging you. LOVE is what matters.but i do wanna tell you that the metality of a 43 year old and a 27 year old are totally different, depending, but i suppose you two could be on the same track.just keep in mind that you two are in totally separate worlds when it comes to life experiences (and i dont know this for fact because i dont know either of you) and you may be falling for him now, but remember that in a year, two, or maybe three years you may look back and realize that both of you want totally separate things. i learned this the hard way. i married a man 16 years older than me, which doesnt seem too bad, but at the end of the day 16 years is a long time. we fell in love, and enjoyed every moment we could be together for the first year or so, then got married. by the time we were together 2 years we both realized that we wanted totally different things out of life. he had already experienced everything he wanted to, and me, having 16 years less life experience than him, wanted to do new things in life, try new things, and be me. anyways, bottom line... dont worry about what other people think or say, if you two are meant to be you will be and nothing that anyone can think or say will tear you two apart....by the way.. you should read "the five love languages". that book has helped me in my relationship now more than anything or anyone ever could i believe. the theory of everyone having one of five love languages is truly a brilliant theory.hope that helps..
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