A
female
age
41-50,
*urpleMartin
writes:I’m 34 and my boyfriend is 56. He is only the second man I’ve ever been involved with. I think my first guy was impotent or non-sexual. We slept in the same bad a few times and he just cuddled. He never made a sexual advance nor do I think he ever got an erection with me.I had sex for the first time in my life about 9 months ago with my current boy friend. I know, way later than most women. I had hardly ever made out with or even kissed or dated much at all before my current man. My parents sent me to all girls’ Catholic high school and college. My boy friend seems very experienced. He makes all the advances (sometimes too aggressively) and does all the work when we are intimate. He was very patient the first few times we tried. He could not get it in and I was very up tight and uncomfortable. He stopped and we just went sleep. After two time of this, he finally forced it in. 5 or 6 times after that I had my first orgasm of my life. Now he can make me climax almost every time, a few times more than once. It is very good and I’ve come to like it a lot.But is there a problem for him if I don’t do anything? Make out scenes in movies show the women way more involved then me. The problem is when he arouses me my body goes limp. I close my eyes and don’t hear the phone or door bell ring. I can’t/don’t do anything but lie there. Several times he was kissing me while we were standing and I got so weak in the knees I think I would have fallen down if he was not holding me up. If we start making out on the couch he has to carry me to bed, I don’t think I could walk.Is this normal? I brought a sex manual with drawings to try to learn more and it seems woman do some of the work too. I have strong reactions to several of the things in the manual, both positive and negative. But I have not been able to bring myself to do anything I’ve seen in the manual, or in movies, or have heard about. A few time he put my hand on his penis but I just held it there. I liked the way it felt. He has never complained, but he does not talk much about anything (talks much less then I want him to.) After we make love, he frequently says nice things to me, that he loves me and I make him happy and he hope to and is trying to make me happy. He sleeps really soundly after sex.This is way more then I was planning to write so I’ll end quickly with the question: Do I need to do more, and if so how do I get myself to do more?
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erection, kissing, limp, orgasm Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 May 2009):
 Just to add a bit to previous suggestions, it all boils down to being a passionate woman. It seems that you are fortunate to be with a man still sexually viral who pleases you well. Please him in return, and become increasingly more adventurous. Most women seem to enjoy toying with a man's personal equipment - gently massaging his testicles, lovingly stroking the erection, adding a licks and kisses there and maybe more.
A really great male lover also offers his woman a good deal of foreplay and affection that ideally includes oral stimulation, preferably bringing her to orgasm several times before copulation ever begins.
Then, with insertion, you may participate by simply responding with some passion, such as thrusting your hips upward (or whatever) in unison with his plunges. Grabbing his ass is good too. It certainly makes sense to physically participate in the process. Most every woman I've ever know quite naturally responded - physically, vocally and with glee. Enjoy!
A
female
reader, PurpleMartin +, writes (18 May 2009):
PurpleMartin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers and advice. Although I must admit I was hoping for an answer like “Men love it when their women just lie there!” Oh well. I guess deep down I knew this was not the correct answer what I asked the question.
I guess I’ll work on the initiate the sex suggestion first, before he has me all wobbly. Up until know I’ve been letting him know I'm in the mood by showing him my naked body, but let me see if I can bring myself to do the passionate neck kissing thing.
Sometimes he lasts longer than I would really like, after I’m done. I’m not light headed and out of it at those times, so maybe I can try the call his name and push his buttocks suggestions. I like it when he holds my bottom so hopefully he will like it to.
As far as me making him weak in the knees, I not sure this can happen. He is an ex Navy officer and owns his own consulting business. He is not very emotional (less emotional than I want him to be) and self control is a big thing for him.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (18 May 2009):
I'll go along with everything "misswalston" suggested.
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A
female
reader, misswalston +, writes (17 May 2009):
 It seems that he has a hell of an effect on you sexually that it makes you tha unresponsive, but heres the thing: If he makes you feel that good, then you would want to show him exactly what he does to you, so turn all of that wobbliness into control. Become a tigress in the bed. When he is inside of you, you give it back to him. Move your body like your life depended on it. Take his buttocks and push him deeper into you, call his name, tell him how good that penis feels inside of you and when he puts his penis in your hand, stroke it like it was a banjo, girl, you got to get into it. I bet you if you start doing these things to him, he will not go to sleep so fast, he is going to want you over and over and he will tell you all of the things you want to hear. Give him a blow job, but if you are not ready for that, we can talk about that later...Good luck......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): Try taking charge of things before he can. Initiate the sex. Do your very best to make him aroused before concentrating on yourself. One night when you are lying in bed just reach over and start kissing his neck passionately. Take the time to explore his body and learn his likes/dislikes. Learn what really turns him on and makes him go weak in the knees. You will soon discover that its as much fun to give as it is to recieve. In some cases I enjoy giving more, the reaction that you get to what you are doing to him can be a real turn on! I understand the feeling of being so weak in the knees that you cant hardly move and its wonderful that he can get you to that place. However sex should be a two way street and if you get to know his body and turn ons more things will only get better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): wow love the post.
Especially this line "Now he can make me climax almost every time, a few times more than once. It is very good and I’ve come to like it a lot." Have big grin on my face for you now , anyway....
Ok the simple answer is No you don't just lie there - that makes you a corpse. You play an active part.
i would also suggest you play with his bits and maybe ride him, take your time and enjoy - it isn't all in the intercourse. Try massaging him.
Ask him what he would like?
i would suggest something like watch some porn, but i think that would not be a good idea - might be too much as a starter. (maybe ask him to get a film to help?)
Star.x.
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