A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is still talking to her ex-husband. She says they want to be friends and thats it nothing more. I tried to be ok with it but everytime I see them emailing eachother it really bothers me and makes me unhappy. Is it unfair for me to ask her to no longer talk to him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Well I guess every situation is different. My ex girlfriend and I broke up recently and I alwase had a problem with how much attachment she had with her ex husband while we were together. Was it for the kids sake? I tried to get over it but it did not work. I wanted to be her comfort and support and not a split down the middle. She is back with him now and he just gave her almost everything she wanted. If it feels like someone u meet wants what u have to offer and wants what they had before u, then u will be in for a ride that will crash hard. If your not someones all and only then it's time to evaluate the situation and ask " was I born with half a heart mind an soul" ?? Then give me 100 and move forward. If your partner won't do that then u just were not the one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): My Fiancee still talks to her ex quite frequently. She insists that they are just friends, and that during the majority of their 24 year marriage, he treated her more like a big brother than a husband.
I can see that to an extent when I've been with them. However, My fiancee was the one that requested the divorce. She wasn't happy, and was lonely for a long time. They have been divorced 2 years, and their divorce was civil.
When I see them together I can tell though that HE is not over her, which makes it a bit akward. I have mentioned it to her how it was strange and a bit uncomfortable for me as the frequency of their communication suggests that there may still be more there.
I am not sure if I should give her an ultimatum or express to her more profoundly how it makes me feel, when she answers his calls while we are on date night.
I don't really feel threatened, I think I just need to set some more boundaries, and as others have suggested, wait and see. She and I have been through a lot together in 10 months, including that she is fighting breast cancer now, so I'm in a strange place.
My ex and I don't speak at all. Our divorce was acrimonious and involved kids (my fiancee has no kids). I'm pretty sure that if I spoke with my ex every night, or an ex-girlfriend with the frequency that she speaks with her ex, that she would have a problem with it.
Any thoughts out there?
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A
female
reader, hahaha +, writes (18 August 2009):
well, it would seem that she is choosing him over you which is sort of a red flag. If he's so important to her that she would jepordize your relationship, you're not that important to her sorry to say. Would you do that to her? I didn't think so, find someone who shares the same values as you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): Whatever you do dump her! Its just the tip of the iceberg. I was in the same situation and luckily I got out before it went any further. I would run and dont look back!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): They divorced because they both were unfaithful. they were married and divorced in less then a year and we have been dating for about 9 months and are living together. I asked her yesterday to cut off communication with him because i tried to be ok with it but it bothers me and hurts to see. She said she wouldn't stop. I said I could not be with her and it would either be him or me and she said she wouldn't chose between me and a friend.
They email thru myspace a couple times a month. and he has made reference to coming and visiting
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 How often do they email each other. More information about the break up would be helpful. There are never any definite answers only possibilities. Anything is possible. We have to roll the dice sometimes and give our partners the option to screw up. If they love you, they won't. It's the "not knowing" that hurts. Trust is important. How would you feel if they met, by chance, while out at a bar one evening and spent half an hour talking? Would that bother you?
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Aer there kids in the picture? Is there a reason she MUST be friends with the ex? Does he have nude photos of her that he is going to use to blackmail her with? If not, then I would see this "friendship" as a red flag. How long have you two been dating? If only for a short time, just keep your guard up. If you are dating for a long time and only if you see it getting serious, then YES, you can have the boundary of no communciation with the Ex.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (16 November 2007):
 He is her ex-husband. And as friendly as they may seem to be with each other there is a reason why they are not still married. The bad had to outweigh the good. Is this an everyday thing emailing/calling? If it is an occasional hello I wouldn't worry. If it is a constant thing then I wouldn't make a big deal but I would speak to her about it.
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