A
female
age
30-35,
* want him
writes:im currently single so im just having fun, but do u think its ok that i have protected sex with people? the only reason i ask is because my friends say im dirty but i dont have one night stands after a night out, i know the people i have sex with.
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Actually, I have one more thought... These are you friends you're sleeping with, right? Be aware this will make it awkward when you have a boyfriend then still want to hang out with these guys that have had sex with you. Most guys (at least here in the U.S.) are ok with you having male friends, but are weird about you hanging out with ex lovers.
but your call. I'm not passing judgement. Just be aware that it may... complicate things.
A
male
reader, lifeisshort +, writes (27 February 2010):
Just be safe, one of the best advantages of being single is having sexual flings with no strings attached.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Well even though personal freedoms are gradually slipping away in America, and perhaps in the United Kingdom as well, the b**tards are still not quite dictating bedroom behavior. Your question is one that only you can answer. If you are having sexual fun with friends and those you know (hopefully well enough to also know their general activities), and if using proper precaution and protection, then your life and entertainment is (and should be) your private matter. Considering my past when a young man, as well as recently, I could not possibly criticize the decisions of a young woman without being a hypocrite - just be prudent.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (27 February 2010):
 A one night stand, is a one night stand regardless of if it is a stranger or someone you have known for years. If it is only sex, and only for odd occasions, it makes no difference. Sleeping around with multiple men is just that, doesnt matter if you are friends or not, it is the act itself which makes it a little uncaring, as Illithid says.
If you have one friend, who you sleep with regularly, but are not in a relationship with, and sleep with other men as well, then you are friends with benifits or the like.
I congratulate you on taking precautions, but really, you are still putting yourself at risk. Condoms fail, the pill is never always 100% due to user error. What would you do if something went wrong?
I know you are enjoying yourself, but will you look back on this in 10, 15 years time and be proud of your actions? Or will you cringe inside and wonder what on earth you were doing? Would a future partner, the man you want to spend the rest of your life with be OK with that? How would you react if the man you fell in love with, had bedded all his female friends and more?
Also, how many male friends do you have?!! How many have you slept with? Because I can almost guarantee, they will probably have talked about you with each other, and may well have compared notes.
Be careful you dont get a reputation for being an easy lay, because if they have all had a piece of you, they will not respect you. They probably see you as a cheap way to get a bit of action, and if you are offering it on a plate, that really will not make you look good. Yes, the men will flock to you, but for all the WRONG reasons.
Please take care of yourself, and really think about your actions. I would hate for you to get hurt.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (27 February 2010):
 oh yes... totally forgot about the dangers of herpes, which stays with you for life... multiple partners is really not safe these days.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Having multiple partners puts one at higher risk of HPV (human papillomavirus )which can lead to cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, and anus in women .Most people who become infected with HPV do not know they have it.
Condoms is not 100% safe. What about oral sex?
Reference;[
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (27 February 2010):
I notice your British, and therefore come from a very different culture from our American friends.
Nope, nothing wrong with having protected sex with anyone. As long as your contraception is condoms which keeps you from catching diseases..
However, having multiple partners, having sex with lots of people that you hardly know or are unlikely to see again says something about your attitude to yourself. This is what your friends are picking up on. Sharing your body with multiple people can seem like desperation or s bit like self-abuse. It also get's you a reputation. Guys then want to have sex with you, because they know they can. They won't be interested in dating you or getting to know you.. Why should they bother, when they know that you like sex and will sleep with them.
Why are you having sex so easily? Aren't you interested in a steady relationship with just one person?
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A
female
reader, momo4eva77 +, writes (26 February 2010):
I have the same exact problem. Im not in relationship with guys but Ive had sex with them. All im saying is to be safe all the time. Meaning always use protection because then if you get pregnant then you wouldnt know who the father is. Also that guy could see you again sometime in the future and he might tell people about your past. Also some guys wont like that you had sex with guys that you werent in a relationship with. I know its fun because your single and everything just make sure your doing it when you feel right and staying safe.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): I agree with Illithid. Beware that your past will follow you. Lots of guys love to be one of the first notches on a girl's bedpost, but a whole lot fewer guys want to be her 12th or 25th. And telling the future guys "Oh don't worry, I've outgrown that phase in my life" won't do much to stop their negative feelings about it. Lots of guys just find loose women plain old unattractive, whether she was loose in the past or the present. (And we're not all hypocritical about this either. Plenty of guys are choosy with their own dicks even when they are young.) So do what you want, but be prepared to live with the consequences of it later on.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (26 February 2010):
Whooosh, that's a loaded question.
Some guys in the future would love the skills you pick up by practicing like this. But some guys will be put off by your sexual history. You're being safe so it should be unlikely that you get pregnant or sick. But you're still having sex so you still could get pregnant or sick. You're not sleeping with strangers or random one night stands. But you're having sex with multiple partners casually.
Personally, I'm in favor of keeping sex as a meaningful part of a committed relationship, but if you're being careful and mature about it, some casual sex isn't the worst thing in the world. Just remember that this WILL be a part of your past that you cannot erase. It may cost you a guy you really like in the future if he just feels like another notch on your bed post.
Is it BAD? That will depend on who you ask. But should you be CAREFUL? Definitely.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): You know its not right that's why you pose this question on this site. By having casual sex with those you are not in a relationship with says a lot to me as a man.
First off sex is not something you respect or value its more like a hobby for you. I personally couldn't date someone with so many partners. An please believe you will rack up a lot of partners. I find it disgusting to see so many people treat sex like a hobby. But that's me im sure you can find a new set of friends which will respect your im gonna get mine philosophy.
Where im from we call guys and girls that do that "go hards"
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A
male
reader, meenfriend +, writes (26 February 2010):
it is allways to be safe .but if get board.message me
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (26 February 2010):
 If it does not bother you and you are being responsible about it, then what anyone else thinks really does not matter. That said tho, you don't need to be getting judged and labelled by friends, so I would just not bother telling them if I were you!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 February 2010):
So long as you're safe, and you are happy, there is no problem. It's more likely your friends are jealous. Just don't tell them about the fun you have, so then they can't get to you.
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